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The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1910 and 2010. v.1

The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1910 and 2010. v. 1
The pie charts compare the population distribution in different regions of the world in 1910 and 2010 and also depicts the changes in global population in these territories. A glance at the diagrams reveals that more than half of the world citizens resided in Asia, both in 1910 and 2010, and the ratio of the global population division decreased in Asia and Europe in a century. According to the given illustration, in 1910, the global inhabitants was 1. 7 billion which overwhelmingly increased and reached to 6 billion in just 100 years. Six out of every ten persons, in 1910, lived in Asia, making it the region with exactly 60% global people. Then Europe and Russia comprised one-fourth of the global citizenry while 3% and 5% of the global community lived in Latin America and North America. Finally, the lowest percentage of the population allotment could be observed in Latin America and African region had one and a half percent more citizen share in this year. After a century, 2010, to be exact, the population diffusion in different parts of the world changes. More than half of the world population were in Asia, though it is precisely six percent fewer than that of a century back. North America's percentages of the population remained unchanged but made it the continent with the lowest percentage of the world population which was previously held by the Latin America. Interestingly, population distribution in Europe and Russia dropped to almost half while it more than doubled in Latin America and Africa. Finally, six percent people lived in the Middle East and North Africa in 2010 though no data was given for this region explicitly in the first pie chart.
The pie charts compare the
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population
distribution in
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different
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regions
of the
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world
in 1910 and 2010 and
also
depicts the
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changes
in
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global
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population
in these territories. A glance at the diagrams reveals that more than
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half
of the
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world
citizens resided in Asia, both in 1910 and 2010, and the ratio of the
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global
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population
division decreased in Asia and Europe in a century.

According to the
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given
illustration, in 1910, the
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global
inhabitants was 1. 7 billion which
overwhelmingly
increased and reached to 6 billion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
100 years. Six out of every ten persons, in 1910,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Asia, making it the
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region
with exactly 60%
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global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Then Europe and Russia comprised one-fourth of the
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global
citizenry while 3% and 5% of the
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global
community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
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Latin
America and North America.
Finally
, the lowest percentage of the
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population
allotment could
be observed
in
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Latin
America and African
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region
had one and a
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half
percent more citizen share in this year.

After a century, 2010, to be exact, the
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population
diffusion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
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world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. More than
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half
of the
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world
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population
were in Asia, though it is
precisely
six percent fewer than that of a century back. North America's percentages of the
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population
remained unchanged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
made it the continent with the lowest percentage of the
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world
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population
which was previously held by the
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Latin
America.
Interestingly
,
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population
distribution in Europe and Russia dropped to almost
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half
while it more than doubled in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Latin
America and Africa.
Finally
, six percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the Middle East and North Africa in 2010 though no data was
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given
for this
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region
explicitly
in the
first
pie chart.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1910 and 2010. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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