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The following diagram shows how rainwater is reused for domestic purposes. v.1

The following diagram shows how rainwater is reused for domestic purposes. v. 1
The illustration depicts different steps through which rainwater is collected, processed and released for reuse for domestic consumptions. Overall, rainwater recycling process involves various interrelated phases including the use of the dam, treatment plant, water tank and the whole process is dependent on rain pour. When the rain pours down to earth, a dam is used to collect rainwater and this water is then sent to a water treatment plant in order to produce drinking water. This water is then released for household consumptions. The houses have their own rainwater tanks which are placed adjacent to them and used for storing rainwater running from the roofs. Rainwater stored in tanks is used for domestic purposes as well. Household wastewater is then sent to a wastewater treatment plant for the recycling purpose from where the excess treated water is released into the river and the rectified water is drawn back to be used for domestic purposes again.   In the interim, surface runoff water in the form of stormwater is preserved and made to flow directly into waterways nearby.
The illustration depicts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
steps through which
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rainwater
is collected
, processed and released for reuse for domestic
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consumptions
.
Overall
,
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rainwater
recycling process involves various interrelated phases including the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the dam, treatment plant,
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water
tank and the whole process is dependent on rain pour.

When the rain pours down to earth, a dam is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to collect
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rainwater
and this
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water
is then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to a
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water
treatment plant in order to produce drinking
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water
. This
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water
is then released for household
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consumptions
. The
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houses
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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rainwater
tanks which
are placed
adjacent to them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for storing
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rainwater
running from the roofs.
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Rainwater
stored in tanks is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for domestic purposes
as well
. Household wastewater is then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to a wastewater treatment plant for the recycling purpose from where the excess treated
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water
is released
into the river and the rectified
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water
is drawn
back to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for domestic purposes again.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In the interim, surface runoff
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water
in the form of stormwater
is preserved
and made to flow
directly
into waterways nearby.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The following diagram shows how rainwater is reused for domestic purposes. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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