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The two pie chart below shows the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. v.2

The two pie chart below shows the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. v. 2
The given pie charts illustrates the online sales record for retail sectors in Canada in two different years, 2005 and 2010. The retail sector for online shopping is categorized into four categories including electronics and appliance, food and beverages, home furnishing and video games. Overall, the greatest proportion of online retail sales was recorded for electronics and appliance in 2005 while the consumers demand for online food and beverage made to top in 2010. Food and beverage followed by video games, 18 percent, were among the sectors with positive impact on online retail reservations. The electronics and appliances was the lead e-shopping marketing sector with 35 percent share in total online marketing followed by home furnishing (25%), food and beverage (22%) and video games (18%). Contrastly, in 2010, the buyers preference to online booking shifted to food and beverages with a total share of 32% with a largest turnover of 10 percent since 2005. Similarly, the share of video games increased by 5 percent in the given five years period. The major downfall was experienced with home furnishing with a net shrink of 10 percent.
The
given
pie charts illustrates the
online
sales record for
retail
sectors
in Canada in two
different
years, 2005 and 2010. The
retail
sector
for
online
shopping
is categorized
into four categories including electronics and appliance,
food
and
beverages
, home furnishing and
video
games.

Overall
, the greatest proportion of
online
retail
sales
was recorded
for electronics and appliance in 2005 while the consumers demand for
online
food
and
beverage
made to top in 2010.
Food
and
beverage
followed by
video
games, 18
percent
, were among the
sectors
with
positive
impact on
online
retail
reservations.

The electronics and appliances was the lead e-shopping marketing
sector
with 35
percent
share in total
online
marketing followed by home furnishing (25%),
food
and
beverage
(22%) and
video
games (18%).

Contrastly
, in 2010, the
buyers
preference to
online
booking shifted to
food
and
beverages
with a total share of 32% with
a
largest turnover of 10
percent
since 2005.
Similarly
, the share of
video
games increased by 5
percent
in the
given
five years period. The major downfall
was experienced
with home furnishing with a net shrink of 10
percent
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The two pie chart below shows the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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