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The chart below gives information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The chart below gives information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries.
The table compares the percentage of people aged 30-50 doing in seven favourite pastimes in eight countries. Overall, it is clear that most people are in their 30-50 years old in all mentioned nations read books in their spare time. Also, the favourite pastime of Japanese is only reading books. To begin, Canadians, Australians and Americans like watching TV with 60 percent. The percentage of Chineses do the same activity is lower, only 15%. The highest percentage of Japanese, Koreans, Chineses and France enjoy reading books, with 62%, 60% and 30% compared with other pastime activity whereas only 15% people in other countries doing the same way. Interestingly, 20% of people in England like sleeping whereas there is a minor percent of 2 to 5% people in other countries like doing the same way. On the other hand, about 50% Chineses are interested in doing hobbies but only 5% like going to the Beach and 0% listen to music. These figures are different to the number of Australian and American, with 30% people going to the beach and 23% of Americans listen to music in the pastime. The last but not the least, approximately 20-30% people in mentioned countries except France, England and Japan prefer playing the sport. It seems that the pastimes of people of different nationalities are influenced by the number of factors such as socio-economic and climate.
The table compares the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 30-50
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doing
in seven
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
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pastimes
in eight
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countries
.
Overall
, it is
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clear
that most
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people
are in their 30-50 years
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old
in all mentioned nations read books in their spare time.
Also
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
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pastime
of Japanese is
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only
reading books.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, Canadians, Australians and Americans like watching TV with 60 percent. The percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chineses
do the same activity is lower,
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only
15%. The highest percentage of Japanese, Koreans,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chineses
and France enjoy reading books, with 62%, 60% and 30% compared with
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other
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pastime
activity whereas
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only
15%
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people
in
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other
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countries
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doing
the same way.
Interestingly
, 20% of
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people
in England like sleeping whereas there is a minor percent of 2 to 5%
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people
in
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other
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countries
like
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doing
the same way.

On the
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other
hand, about 50%
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chineses
are interested
in
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doing
hobbies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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only
5% like going to the Beach and 0% listen to music. These figures are
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different
to the number of Australian and American, with 30%
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people
going to the beach and 23% of Americans listen to music in the
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pastime
. The last
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but
not the least, approximately 20-30%
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people
in mentioned
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countries
except France, England and Japan prefer playing the sport. It seems that the
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pastimes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nationalities
are influenced
by the number of factors such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
and climate.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The chart below gives information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
230 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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