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The three bar charts show average years of schooling, numbers of scientists and technicians, and research and development spending in developing and developed countries. Figures aregiven for 1980 and 1990. v.2

The three bar charts show average years of schooling, numbers of scientists and technicians, and research and development spending in developing and developed countries. Figures aregiven for 1980 and 1990. v. 2
The column charts illustrate the level of participation in education and science in developing nations and Industrialized countries. The data was collected and grouped in 3 categories: years of study, the proportion of experts and money invested on the research and development In general, Industrialized countries dominated the years of whole three categories in the research. And the developing nations and the industrialized nations had the similar upward tendency in years of study and proportion of scientists and technicians. The financial resource allocated for research and development doubly decreased in developing areas from over 50 billion in 1980 to around 25 billion in the next ten years, contrary to a double rose of industrialized nations from 160 billion in 1980 to over 300 billion in 1990. There was a slight growth in the average years of schooling in both areas, increased from just under 3 years to just over thee years in developing countries, and just under 9 years to just over ten years in Industrialized countries. The proportion of scientists and technicians in developing nations insignificantly increased by about 8 individuals per 1000 people from 10 persons in 1980 to 18 persons in 1990. While, this rose was much larger in Industrialized countries, which 30 persons higher from 41 persons to about 70 persons each 1000 people.
The column charts illustrate the level of participation in education and science in
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developing
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nations
and
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Industrialized
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countries
. The data
was collected
and grouped in 3 categories: years of study, the proportion of experts and money invested on the research and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
development


In general
,
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Industrialized
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countries
dominated the years of whole three categories in the research. And the
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
had the similar upward tendency in years of study and proportion of scientists and technicians.

The financial resource allocated for research and development
doubly
decreased in
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developing
areas from
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over
50
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billion
in 1980 to around 25
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billion
in the
next
ten years, contrary to a double rose of
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industrialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
from 160
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billion
in 1980 to
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over
300
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billion
in 1990.

There was a slight growth in the average years of schooling in both areas, increased from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 3 years to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
thee years in
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 9 years to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
ten years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industrialized
countries.

The proportion of scientists and technicians in
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
insignificantly
increased by about 8 individuals per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
in 1980 to 18
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persons
in 1990. While, this rose was much larger in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industrialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which 30
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persons
higher from 41
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persons
to about 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
each 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The three bar charts show average years of schooling, numbers of scientists and technicians, and research and development spending in developing and developed countries. Figures aregiven for 1980 and 1990. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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