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The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.5

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.
The table illustrates the percentage of wide variety of poor people, classified by family type, in Australia in 1999. Overall, the last variable has a percentage of 11% that means 1. 8 million Australian inhabitants lived in poverty in that period. Most of them were sole parents or single without children cumulating together 40% of individuals. In terms of poor households, 12 out of 100 couples with children were poorest having a number of 933 thousands of people which represents almost one-half of all households. Just a small part of aged couples (4%) contributed at the entire proportion of poor people. Not far were the single aged person, 5% of these were destitute with only 54 thousand of individuals. In spite of a lower percentage of disadvantaged couples without children of 7%, they have recorded in a large number individuals, 211 thousand. In opposite case, are obviously sole parents with the highest proportion of people (21%), but with only 232 thousands of citizens.
The table illustrates the percentage of wide variety of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, classified by family type, in Australia in 1999.

Overall
, the last variable has a percentage of 11% that means 1. 8 million Australian inhabitants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in poverty in that period. Most of them were sole parents or single without children cumulating together 40% of individuals.

In terms of poor households, 12 out of 100 couples with children were
A determiner is probably missing here: "the poorest".
poorest
having a number of
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "933 thousand".
933 thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which represents almost one-half of all households.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of aged couples (4%) contributed at the entire proportion of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Not far were the
Make sure that the adjective 'single' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'aged'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
single aged
person, 5% of these were destitute with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
54 thousand of individuals.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
a lower percentage of disadvantaged couples without children of 7%, they have recorded in a large number individuals, 211 thousand. In opposite case, are
obviously
sole parents with the highest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(21%),
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "232 thousand".
232 thousands of
citizens.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS academic The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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