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The topic is taken from Cambridge book of IELTS 9, writing task 1 test 3The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feat v.1

The topic is taken from Cambridge book of IELTS 9, writing task 1 test 3The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
The stipulated pie diagrams illustrates the information regarding the ages of population in 2000 and the expected population in 2050 in Yemen and Italy. The mentioned parameters are 0-14 years, 15-59 years, 60+ years. It has been clear from the data that, in 2000 Yemenis population was dominated by children and teenagers. They constituted more than half (50. 1%) of the total population. Adults and matured people accounted for almost half portion (46. 3%) of Yemen' s total community and a mere 3. 2% of folks were from senior citizens category. Whereas, in Italy 15-59 age group were responsible for almost three fourth (61. 6%) of the total public in 2000 followed by old age people (24. 1%) and 0-14 years (14. 3%) category. On the other hand, 2050' s expected population rate is showing a complete different proportions. In Yemen, it is expected to increase the percentage of matured people by 9%. while 0-14 year age group' s strength will be decided by almost 13%. However Italy' s predicted figures showing some extraordinary trend, old age people' s proportion is expected to be doubled (42. 3%). However, 15-59 years category and 0-14 years category expected to experience some decline of 15% and 3% respectively. In conclusion, both countries population proportion are expected to show a considerable change during the course of 50 years of time.
The stipulated pie diagrams illustrates the information regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 2000 and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 2050 in Yemen and Italy. The mentioned parameters are 0-14 years, 15-59 years, 60+ years.

It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the data that, in 2000 Yemenis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
was dominated
by children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. They constituted more than half (50. 1%) of the total
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population
. Adults and matured
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people
accounted for almost half portion (46. 3%) of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yemen&
#039; s total community and a mere 3. 2% of folks were from senior
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "citizens'" or "citizen's"?
citizens
category. Whereas, in Italy 15-59
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group were responsible for almost three fourth (61. 6%) of the total public in 2000 followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(24. 1%) and 0-14 years (14. 3%) category.

On the other hand
, 2050' s
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expected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
rate is showing a complete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
proportions. In Yemen, it is
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expected
to increase the percentage of matured
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people
by 9%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
0-14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Possible spelling mistake found.
group&
#039; s strength will
be decided
by almost 13%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Possible spelling mistake found.
Italy&
#039; s predicted figures showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extraordinary trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s proportion is
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expected
to
be doubled
(42. 3%).
However
, 15-59 years category and 0-14 years category
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expected
to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decline of 15% and 3%
respectively
.

In conclusion
, both
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
proportion are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
during the course of 50 years of time.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS academic The topic is taken from Cambridge book of IELTS 9, writing task 1 test 3The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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