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The graph under show the percentage of student satisfaction of the staff in four colleges from 1991 to 2002 v.2

The graph under show the percentage of student satisfaction of the staff in four colleges from 1991 to 2002 v. 2
The line graph indicates the rating satisfaction of the staff in four colleges from 1992 to 2002 Overall, the rate satisfaction of the staff never got 100 percent. The rating was change, both of the college A and B had downward trends, while both of college B and D had upward trends In 1991-1993, the rate of college A grew from over 60% to 70% and then it went down. In 1995-1996 the percentage declined from over 80% to under 70% and it continued to decline. 1997-2000, the rate rose but it was not much, from 2000 to 2002 the percentage fell by 20%. College D, in 1991-1997 the rate was change but almosst it remained unchanged. In 1998-2001, the rate went down. In 2002 the percentage fell by 20% College B, 1992-1995 tha rate satisfaction of the staff fluctuated around 50%. 1996-1997 the rate jumped from 50% to 70%. In 1997-2002 the rate continued to rise. College C, 1991-1995 the percentage hover around over 30%, 1995-1998 the rate had a trough of 30% to 70%. In 1998-1999 the rate took off suddently by 60%, 1999-2002 the rate increasead steadily
The line graph indicates the rating satisfaction of the staff in four colleges from 1992 to 2002

Overall
, the
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rate
satisfaction of the staff never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
100 percent. The rating was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, both of the college A and B had downward trends, while both of college B and D had upward
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trends


In 1991-1993, the
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rate
of college A grew from over 60% to 70% and then it went down. In 1995-1996 the
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percentage
declined from over 80% to under 70% and it continued to decline. 1997-2000, the
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rate
rose
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but
it was not much, from 2000 to 2002 the
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percentage
fell by 20%. College D, in 1991-1997 the
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rate
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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almosst
it remained unchanged. In 1998-2001, the
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rate
went down. In 2002 the
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percentage
fell by 20%

College B, 1992-1995
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
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rate
satisfaction of the staff fluctuated around 50%. 1996-1997 the
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rate
jumped from 50% to 70%. In 1997-2002 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
continued to rise. College C, 1991-1995 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
hover around over 30%, 1995-1998 the
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rate
had a trough of 30% to 70%. In 1998-1999 the
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rate
took off
Possible spelling mistake found.
suddently
by 60%, 1999-2002 the
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rate
Possible spelling mistake found.
increasead
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steadily
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph under show the percentage of student satisfaction of the staff in four colleges from 1991 to 2002 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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