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Essay topics: The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant v.2

Essay topics: The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
The given bar charts illustrate landing-places of UK graduate and postgraduate students, excepting full-time career. Unit of measurement is number of students. To begin with, there were more graduate than postgraduate scholars in UK, but the proportion of destinations of the students from both degrees was virtually the same. The most popular choice was to pursue further education, while only few of them interested in working as volunteers. With regards to number of students who decided to study more, it almost reached 30, 000 for the graduates, but, among the postgraduates, there was only 2, 725 people who did so. Furthermore, the second attractive option, working part-time, was accounted for approximately one-third of total graduate students, just like the postgraduates. And there were around 16, 000 graduate scholars unemployed in that year, and among the postgraduates, more than 1, 600 people left the college without any job. In contrast, only 3, 500 graduates and 345 postgraduates joined voluntary work, which was ranked as the least preference from overall students.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar charts illustrate landing-places of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and
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postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, excepting full-time career. Unit of measurement is number of students.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there were more
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graduate
than
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postgraduate
scholars in UK,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the proportion of destinations of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from both degrees was
virtually
the same. The most popular choice was to pursue
further
education, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few of them interested in working as volunteers.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
number of
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students
who decided to study more, it almost reached 30, 000 for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2, 725
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Furthermore
, the second attractive option, working part-time,
was accounted
for approximately one-third of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the
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postgraduates
. And there were around 16, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
scholars unemployed in that year, and among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
, more than 1, 600
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the college without any job.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3, 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and 345
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
voluntary work, which
was ranked
as the least preference from
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic Essay topics: The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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