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The tables give information about the average hour s work by part time and full time men and women in three countries in Europe in 2002 and compare them with the European countries v.2

The tables give information about the average hour s work by part time and full time men and women in three countries in Europe in 2002 and compare them with the European countries v. 2
The tables compare four different countries, namely Greece, Netherlands, UK and European, in terms of the average time men and women worked in full-time and part-time positions, in the year 2002. Generally, Males worked more than females in both types of job. Apart from this, Greek people spent more o' clock working than those from the other nations. As for the average working hours of full-times, Greece ranked the first with nearly 40 hours for girls and over 42. 0 for boys, followed by the Netherlands with 38 hours for both genders. Meanwhile, 37 hours was the total amount of time women in the UK allocated to their employment, slightly lower than that of men with 37, 5 hour. In general, in this category, male workers in European worked more than female individuals. Regarding the figures for part-time workers, it is noticeable that those from Greece still the highest positions in the list with 29, 3 hours for women and 30 hours for men. Similarly, UK males had more working part-time hours, at 29, compared to 28 hours of females. By contrast, a reverse trend can be seen in the numbers of boys and girls in Netherland, with 28, 3 and 29, 2 respectively. Surprisingly, maybe women liked this type of job than men in European? With 34 hours for the lady and 32 hours for the gentleman.
The tables compare four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
namely
Greece, Netherlands, UK and European, in terms of the average time
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men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
worked in full-time and part-time positions, in the year 2002.

Generally
, Males worked more than females in both types of job. Apart from this, Greek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent more
Possible spelling mistake found.
o&
#039; clock working than those from the other nations.

As for the average working
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hours
of full-times, Greece ranked the
first
with
nearly
40
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hours
for girls and over 42. 0 for boys, followed by the Netherlands with 38
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hours
for both genders. Meanwhile, 37
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hours
was the total amount of time
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women
in the UK allocated to their employment,
slightly
lower than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
with 37, 5
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
.
In general
, in this category, male workers in European worked more than female individuals.

Regarding the figures for part-time workers, it is noticeable that those from Greece
still
the highest positions in the list with 29, 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and 30
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hours
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Similarly
, UK males had more working part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, at 29, compared to 28
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of females. By contrast, a reverse trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the numbers of boys and girls in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netherland
, with 28, 3 and 29, 2
respectively
.
Surprisingly
, maybe
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women
liked this type of job than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in European? With 34
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hours
for the lady and 32
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for the gentleman.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS academic The tables give information about the average hour s work by part time and full time men and women in three countries in Europe in 2002 and compare them with the European countries v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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