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The graph below shows consumers average annual expenditures on cell phone national and international fixed line and services in America between 2001 and 2010 v.2

The graph below shows consumers average annual expenditures on cell phone national and international fixed line and services in America between 2001 and 2010 v. 2
The line graph illustrates the average amount of money spent on mobile phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America on a yearly basis during a decade starting from 2001. It is noticeable that while the annual expenditure on cell phone experienced a significant increase, the opposite was true for that on national fixed-line services. In addition, the figure for international fixed-line services is the lowest among three kinds over the period shown. In 2001, the average money spent on national fixed-line services of the US residents was approximately 700 dollars, in comparison with the expenditure of only around 250 dollars on international landline services and 200 dollars on mobile phone services. Over the next 5 years, a decrease of 200 dollars was witnessed in the expenditure of national fixed-line services, in contrast with the figure for cell phone services, which underwent a considerable growth of 300 dollars. At the same time, the average money poured into international landline services volatiled slightly around 300 dollars. In 2006, the American consumers spent the same amount of money on national fixed-line and cell phone services, with 500 dollars on each. From 2006 to 2010, while the cell phone services’ figure showed an upward trend and hit the highest point in 2010 with 750 dollars, the yearly spending on national landline services fell moderately and was about 400 dollars at the end of the period. During the same period, the expenditure on overseas fixed-line services remained stable.
The line graph illustrates the average amount of
money
spent on mobile
phone
,
national
and
international
fixed
-line and
services
in America on a yearly basis during a decade starting from 2001.

It is noticeable that while the annual
expenditure
on
cell
phone
experienced a significant increase, the opposite was true for that on
national
fixed
-line
services
.
In addition
, the figure for
international
fixed
-line
services
is the lowest among three kinds over the period shown.

In 2001, the average
money
spent on
national
fixed
-line
services
of the US residents was approximately 700
dollars
,
in comparison
with the
expenditure
of
only
around 250
dollars
on
international
landline
services
and 200
dollars
on mobile
phone
services
. Over the
next
5 years, a decrease of 200
dollars
was witnessed
in the
expenditure
of
national
fixed
-line
services
,
in contrast
with the figure for
cell
phone
services
, which underwent a considerable growth of 300
dollars
. At the same time, the average
money
poured into
international
landline
services
volatiled
slightly
around 300 dollars.

In 2006, the American consumers spent the same amount of
money
on
national
fixed
-line and
cell
phone
services
, with 500
dollars
on each. From 2006 to 2010, while the
cell
phone
services’
figure
showed
an upward trend and hit the highest point in 2010 with 750
dollars
, the yearly spending on
national
landline
services
fell
moderately
and was about 400
dollars
at the
end
of the period. During the same period, the
expenditure
on overseas
fixed
-line
services
remained stable.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The graph below shows consumers average annual expenditures on cell phone national and international fixed line and services in America between 2001 and 2010 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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