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The tables give information about the average hours worked by part time and full time men and women in the coveted in Europe in 2002 and compare with European countries v.2

The tables give information about the average hours worked by part time and full time men and women in the coveted in Europe in 2002 and compare with European countries v. 2
The tables not only shows the data about the average number of hours of part-time and full-time work by both the gender in europe but also makes a comparison of these values with the values of three individual countries, namely Greece, Netherlands, and the UK, in 2002. Overall, a slight difference is seen between males and females in the number of average hours in both the part-time and the full-time jobs with females being higher in the former and the males in latter. Furthermore, Greece’s average number of hours was more than the other two countries as well as than the european average for full-time work. With regards to full-time work, the european average was 39. 2 hours for women and 40. 4 hours for men. Netherlands is the only country that has equal number of average hours for males and females at about 38 hours as opposed to Greece, in which males(42. 5 hours) worked for more hours than women(39. 9 hours). There was difference of thirty minutes in the values between males and females in the UK, which is 37. 5 and 37 hours, respectively. In case of part-time jobs, the average hours worked by men and women were approximately between 28 to 30 hours, and was much lower than the european average that stood at 32 and 34 hours, respectively.
The tables not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the data about the
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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hours
of part-time and full-time work by both the gender in
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europe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a comparison of these values with the values of three individual countries,
namely
Greece, Netherlands, and the UK, in 2002.

Overall
, a slight difference is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
between
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males
and
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females
in the
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number
of
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average
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hours
in both the part-time and the full-time jobs with
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females
being higher in the former and the
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males
in latter.
Furthermore
, Greece’s
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average
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number
of
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hours
was more than the other two countries
as well
as than the
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european
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average
for full-time work.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
full-time work, the
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european
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average
was 39. 2
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hours
for women and 40. 4
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hours
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Netherlands is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
country that has equal
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number
of
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
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females
at about 38
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hours
as opposed to Greece, in which
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males(42
. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours)
worked for more
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hours
than women(39. 9
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hours)
. There was difference of thirty minutes in the values between
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males
and
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females
in the UK, which is 37. 5 and 37
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hours
,
respectively
.

In case of part-time jobs, the
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average
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hours
worked by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women were approximately
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 28 and 30".
between 28 to 30
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hours
, and was much lower than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
european
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average
that stood at 32 and 34
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
,
respectively
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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IELTS academic The tables give information about the average hours worked by part time and full time men and women in the coveted in Europe in 2002 and compare with European countries v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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