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The tables below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries. v.1

The tables below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries. v. 1
The given tables show data on the consumption of beer and fruit juice in ten different countries. As is presented in the tables, Irish and German people consume the highest amount of beers per person while the Canadian and American people consume the highest amount of fruit juice per person per year. According to the first table, Irish people consume the highest amount of beer per person in a year amounting 155 litres while Finnish took 79 litres per year on an average. German and Australian citizens take more than 100 litres beer each year while they take about 34-38 litre fruit juices per person per year. People of Belgium and Denmark both take 98 litres beer while people of UK, Australia, US, Netherland consume less than 90 litres beer on an average. Finnish people take the least amount of beer on an average amounting 79 litres per person annually. On the other hand, people of these given countries drink fruit juice less than half of the amount they drink the beers. Canadian people drink the largest amount of fruit juice contributing to 52. 6 litres per person annually, while this amount is less than 50 litres for all other countries. New Zealand people consume the least amount of fruit juice each year on an average. In conclusion, people of the given countries drink more beer than fruit juices on an average.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
tables
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
data on the consumption of beer and
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fruit
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juice
in ten
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different
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countries
. As
is presented
in the tables, Irish and German
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people
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consume
the highest
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amount
of beers per
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person
while the Canadian and American
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people
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consume
the highest
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amount
of
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fruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
per
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person
per year.

According to the
first
table, Irish
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people
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consume
the highest
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amount
of beer per
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person
in a
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year
amounting 155
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litres
while Finnish took 79
Possible spelling mistake. 'litres' is British English.
litres
per
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year
on an
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average
. German and Australian citizens take more than 100
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litres
beer each
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year
while they take about 34-38
Possible spelling mistake. 'litre' is British English.
litre
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fruit
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juices
per
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person
per
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year
.
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People
of Belgium and Denmark both take 98
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litres
beer while
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people
of UK, Australia, US,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netherland
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consume
less than 90
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litres
beer on an
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average
. Finnish
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people
take the least
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amount
of beer on an
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average
amounting 79
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litres
per
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person
annually
.
On the other hand
,
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people
of these
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given
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countries
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drink
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fruit
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juice
less than half of the
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amount
they
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drink
the beers. Canadian
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people
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drink
the largest
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amount
of
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fruit
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juice
contributing to 52. 6
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litres
per
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person
annually
, while this
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amount
is less than 50
Possible spelling mistake. 'litres' is British English.
litres
for all other
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countries
. New Zealand
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people
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consume
the least
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amount
of
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fruit
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juice
each
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year
on an average.

In conclusion
,
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people
of the
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given
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countries
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drink
more beer than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juices
on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The tables below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
232 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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