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This tables show data about the amount of television watched by children in different countries (hours per day ) and also the average academic achievement of people in these countries (% of people completing each level. ) v.2

This tables show data about the amount of television watched by children in different countries (hours per day ) and also the average academic achievement of people in these countries (% of people completing each level. ) v. 2
The given tables evince us some information about the number hours of watching TV in each day by young people, and the medium academic accomplishment in miscellaneous countries. Turning to the number hours of watching TV per day, the USA, the UK and Canada have the highest amount, with 4. For Each of countries of China and Italy, it is 3, standing at 2 in India and Brazil. The UAE and Malta have the minimum number, 1 hours/day, which is a quarter of the maximum recorded. According to table 2, we can see that the average percentage of people with academic achievement is categorized in three subdivision: school, high school, and university. By augmentation of education, this average decreases. From school to high school, this dives less than 10 unites in UK, Malta, UAE, Canada, Brazil, Italy and USA, dwindling 20% in India, slumping more than precedent percentage in China. This experiences huge drop from high school to university. It dips less than one-third in China, USA, Italy and UK, pluming a little more than one-third in Canada, sliding down more than a quarter in Brazil and UAE. In Malta and India, this tails off around 20%. In summary, it seems countries have more watching television hours/day, having more people completed university (except India).
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
tables evince us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about the number hours of watching TV in each day by young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and the medium academic accomplishment in miscellaneous countries.

Turning to the number hours of watching TV per day, the USA, the UK and Canada have the highest amount, with 4. For Each of countries of China and Italy, it is 3, standing at 2 in India and Brazil. The UAE and Malta have the minimum number, 1 hours/day, which is a quarter of the maximum recorded.

According to table 2, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the average percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with academic achievement
is categorized
in three subdivision:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and university. By augmentation of education, this average decreases. From
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, this dives less than 10 unites in UK, Malta, UAE, Canada, Brazil, Italy and USA, dwindling 20% in India, slumping more than precedent percentage in China. This experiences huge drop from high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to university. It dips less than one-third in China, USA, Italy and UK, pluming a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more than one-third in Canada, sliding down more than a quarter in Brazil and UAE. In Malta and India, this tails off around 20%.

In summary, it seems countries have more watching television hours/day, having more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
completed university (except India).
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic This tables show data about the amount of television watched by children in different countries (hours per day ) and also the average academic achievement of people in these countries (% of people completing each level. ) v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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