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The table shows the number of mobile phones and personal computers per 1000 people in 2003 in 6 different counties Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The table shows the number of mobile phones and personal computers per 1000 people in 2003 in 6 different counties
The given table illustrates the number of cell phones and computers per 1000 people in 2003 in six different countries, namely- Luxemburg, Italy, Singapore, Germany, South Korea and China. Overall, people of Luxemburg used the highest number of cell phones and PCs. Whereas, Chinese owned the least number of PCs and cell phones. Among all countries, Luxemburg had the most cell phone and PC Owners ( 872 and 900 per 1000 people respectively) compared to China, which had the lowest owner for same electronic device and made up 35 and 88 per thousand people respectively. Italy was following Luxemburg with 737 cell phones and 480 computer user per thousand citizen. However, Singapore had almost same number of computer users and cell phone users, which constituted approximately 700 per thousand people. In terms of mobile owners, Germany and South Korea had lower user compare to other countries, account for 586 and 380 per thousand citizen, except only Chine. In contrast, equal number of personal computer holder were lived in Germany and South Korea with almost half of their number of citizen (452 per thousand).
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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cell
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phones
and computers per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2003 in six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
namely
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
Luxemburg
, Italy, Singapore, Germany, South Korea and China.

Overall
,
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people
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Luxemburg
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and PCs. Whereas, Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of PCs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
phones.

Among all countries,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Luxemburg
had the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and PC Owners
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
872 and 900 per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
respectively
) compared to China, which had the lowest owner for same electronic device and made up 35 and 88 per thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
respectively
. Italy was following
Possible spelling mistake found.
Luxemburg
with 737
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and 480 computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
per thousand
Possible agreement error. The noun 'citizen' seems to be countable, so consider using: "citizens".
citizen
.

However
, Singapore had almost same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
, which constituted approximately 700 per thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In terms of mobile owners, Germany and South Korea had lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
compare to other countries, account for 586 and 380 per thousand
Possible agreement error. The noun 'citizen' seems to be countable, so consider using: "citizens".
citizen
, except
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Chine.
In contrast
, equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of personal computer holder were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Germany and South Korea with almost half of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of citizen (452 per thousand).
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The table shows the number of mobile phones and personal computers per 1000 people in 2003 in 6 different counties

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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