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The table shows the changes with the primary income sources for interational students from 2003/04 to 2013/14 in the US. v.2

The table shows the changes with the primary income sources for interational students from 2003/04 to 2013/14 in the US. v. 2
The table represents the changes with the number of international students who received the funds from four different income sources (personal, US College or university, foreign government or university, current employer and other sources) in the US from 2003/04 to 2013/14. Overall, there was a clear increase in the number of international students who received the funding from all sources except other sources, which decreased by 14%. The total funding recorded for 2003/04 was $572509 and which rose to $886052 by 2013/14. It is apparent that, foreign government and current employer support had risen drastically in compared to personal and US College’s rising rates. Looking in details for the income supports from foreign government and current employer, which rose by 383% and 390%, respectively from 2003/04 to 2013/14. In 2003/04, 13699 international students received their main source of income from foreign government, while 10111 international students received their funds from current employers. In a decade, this number increased dramatically to 66147 and 49503 students who received their income from foreign government and current employers respectively. In contrast, the number of students received from their family and the US College was the highest. Personal and family income sources have increased by 49% from 2003/04 to 2013/14 whereas the US Colleges rose by 28% for the same period. In details, 385543 students received the funding from their family and by themselves in 2003/04 which grew to 574129 students in 2013/14. Meanwhile, 134015 students supported from the US College in 2003/04 and this number rose to 171218 students by 2013/14.
The table represents the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with the
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number
of
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international
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students
who
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received
the funds from four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
(personal, US College or university,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or university,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources)
in the US
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2003 to 04"?
from 2003/04
to 2013/14.

Overall
, there was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
the funding from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
except other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, which decreased by 14%. The total funding recorded for 2003/04 was $572509 and which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
to $886052 by 2013/14. It is apparent that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
support had risen
drastically
in compared to personal and US College’s rising rates.

Looking in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
supports from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
by 383% and 390%,
respectively
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2003 to 04"?
from 2003/04
to 2013/14. In 2003/04, 13699
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
their main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, while 10111
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
their funds from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
. In a decade, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
increased
dramatically
to 66147 and 49503
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
respectively
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
from their family and the US College was the highest. Personal and family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
have increased by 49%
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2003 to 04"?
from 2003/04
to 2013/14 whereas the US Colleges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
by 28% for the same period. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, 385543
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
the funding from their family and by themselves in 2003/04 which grew to 574129
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2013/14. Meanwhile, 134015
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
supported from the US College in 2003/04 and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
to 171218
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by 2013/14.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The table shows the changes with the primary income sources for interational students from 2003/04 to 2013/14 in the US. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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