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The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast-food shops between 2003 and 2013. v.1

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast-food shops between 2003 and 2013. v. 1
The diagram outlines the frequency of having fast food meals by Americans at restaurants from 2003 to 2013. Generally speaking, almost half of the Americans ate fast food in a bistro either once or more than a few times a week between 2003 and 2013. It is worth noticing that more Americans chose not to eat junk food as frequently as they used to do so in the past. As the diagram suggests, almost one of twenty Americans ate junk food daily at a restaurant in 2003 while this rate slightly decreased over the period. Interestingly around the same percentage of US citizens never ate at such restaurants, as the data suggests. Again, around 17% of Americans ate at fast-food eateries several times a week and the ratio of such people increased in 2006 before it dropped to just over 15% in 2013. Many Americans preferred eating fast food once a week and they constituted almost one third. Their ratio, however, fell by few percentages over time. A similar percentage of Americans had fast food meals once in a month and their ratio went higher. People who rarely dined at a fast-food café accounted for around 15% of the total. The increase in the last two categories suggests that many Americans who more frequently ate at fast food shops had stopped doing so after a decade.
The diagram outlines the frequency of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
meals by Americans at restaurants from 2003 to 2013.
Generally
speaking, almost half of the Americans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in a bistro either once or more than a few times a week between 2003 and 2013. It is worth noticing that more Americans chose not to eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as
frequently
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the past.

As the diagram suggests, almost one of twenty Americans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
daily at a restaurant in 2003 while this rate
slightly
decreased over the period.
Interestingly
around the same percentage of US citizens never
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ate
at such restaurants, as the data suggests. Again, around 17% of Americans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food eateries several times a week and the ratio of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
increased in 2006
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it dropped to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 15% in 2013.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Americans preferred eating
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
once a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
week and
they constituted almost one third. Their ratio,
however
, fell by few percentages over time. A similar percentage of Americans had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
meals once in a month and their ratio went higher.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who rarely dined at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food café accounted for around 15% of the total. The increase in the last two categories suggests that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Americans who more
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shops had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
after a decade.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast-food shops between 2003 and 2013. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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