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The table below the worldwide market share of the notebook computer markets for manufacturers in the year 2006, 2007 and 2014 v.2

The table below the worldwide market share of the notebook computer markets for manufacturers in the year 2006, 2007 and 2014 v. 2
A glance at the table reveals clear differences in the proportion of the global market share of notebook computers in terms of manufacturing companies in three distinct years. One noticeable fact highlighted by the figures is that all companies listed, except for Fujitsu, witnessed a slight increase in the market share over the period. In 2006, HP computers accounted for the largest percentage of market share, at around one-third, nearly doubled the figure for Dell, at 16. 6%. Third in terms of prevalence was Samsung computers, with 11. 6%. The market share of HP products went up marginally by over 3%, reaching the top of 34. 25%, which remained as the market leader. Likewise, a similar trend was observed in the statistic presented by Dell while Samsung’s market share slipped to 10. 7 % in 2007, prior to recovering to 14. 20%. Registering at only less than 7% by each, Toshiba and Lenovo computers came as the fourth and fifth rank in 2006. The next nine years saw a moderate increase in these two figures, ending at merely 8%, despite a minor fall of Lenovo’s share in 2007. Additionally, the popularity of Fujitsu notebooks declined by approximately 2%, from 4. 8% to 3. 1% in 2014. Similarly, unspecific companies were subjected to a marked decrease in their market share, bottoming at 7. 11.
A glance at the table reveals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
differences in the proportion of the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of notebook computers in terms of manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in three distinct years.

One noticeable fact highlighted by the figures is that all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
listed,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Fujitsu, witnessed a slight increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
over the period.

In 2006, HP computers accounted for the largest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
, at around one-third,
nearly
doubled the figure for Dell, at 16. 6%. Third in terms of prevalence was Samsung computers, with 11. 6%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of HP products went up
marginally
by over 3%, reaching the top of 34. 25%, which remained as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
leader.
Likewise
, a similar trend
was observed
in the statistic presented by Dell while Samsung’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
slipped to 10. 7 % in 2007, prior to recovering to 14. 20%.

Registering at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
less than 7% by each, Toshiba and Lenovo computers came as the fourth and fifth rank in 2006. The
next
nine years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a moderate increase in these two figures, ending at
merely
8%, despite a minor fall of Lenovo’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
in 2007.
Additionally
, the popularity of Fujitsu notebooks declined by approximately 2%, from 4. 8% to 3. 1% in 2014.
Similarly
, unspecific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
were subjected
to a marked decrease in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
, bottoming at 7. 11.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS academic The table below the worldwide market share of the notebook computer markets for manufacturers in the year 2006, 2007 and 2014 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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