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The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015
The pie chart compares the government' s financial budget in the year 2010 and 2015 In the year 2010 the majority of government funds were provided to healthcare and education sectors which collectively comprises of almost 50 percent of total funds. But the expenditures were reduced in both the sectors by 1 percent and 4 percent respectively in five years. Also, the defense sector was funded by 17 percent in 2010 which was reduced to 14 percent in 2015. The expenses on transport, cultures and others were also reduced by 1 percent. However, the expenses in welfare sectors and interests on borrowing was noticeably increase from last five years. The goverment spent twice as before on interest on burrowing and increased 5 percent fundings in welfare sectors. Between these five years the pension sectors expenditure remained the same. In conclusion, the goverment had to cut down on expeses in healthcare, education adn others sectors to increase the funding in welfare and interest on borrowing sectors.
The pie chart compares the
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government&
#039; s financial budget in the
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year
2010 and 2015

In the
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year
2010 the majority of
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government
funds
were provided
to healthcare and education
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sectors
which
collectively
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
almost 50
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percent
of total funds.
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But
the expenditures were
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reduced
in both the
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sectors
by 1
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percent
and 4
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percent
respectively
in five years.
Also
, the defense
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sector
was funded
by 17
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percent
in 2010 which was
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reduced
to 14
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percent
in 2015. The expenses on transport, cultures
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and others
were
also
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reduced
by 1 percent.

However
, the expenses in welfare
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sectors
and interests on borrowing was
noticeably
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
from last five years. The
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goverment
spent twice as
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before
on interest on burrowing and increased 5
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percent
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fundings
in welfare sectors.

Between these five years the pension
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sectors
expenditure remained the same.

In conclusion
, the
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goverment
had to
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cut
down on
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expeses
in healthcare, education
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adn
others
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sectors
to increase the funding in welfare and interest on borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
165 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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