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The chart below shows the employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarize the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate. (Study Sample) v.1

The chart below shows the employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
The given bar graph compares the data about the job proportions of man and woman in 6 different nations for 2 years, 1995 and 2005. It is cogent from this graph that occupation sector was dominated by male employees for these two years. Overall, the employment rate had increased in 2005, as compared to 1995. In addition, the highest rate of employment was for 2005' s male employees. Moreover, while x-axis represents these countries, percentage is indicated by y axis. In 1995, the highest male employment rate was in Iceland with almost 70%, whereas Switzerland' s female employment dominated woman' s department with more than two-quarters. Furthermore, the maximum male and female employment difference was in New Zealand (Approximately 60% and close to a quarter), the lowest difference was observed in UK (just above two-quarters and around 50%). In 2005, Iceland' s male occupation rate was highest with more than 3 quarters, while three-fifths female were employed in Switzerland, which was highest. However, in Australia male employment rate was lowest for men' s catagory with just below 70%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph compares the data about the job proportions of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
man
and woman in 6
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations for 2 years, 1995 and 2005. It is cogent from this graph that occupation sector
was dominated
by male employees for these two years.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
had increased in 2005, as compared to 1995.
In addition
, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
was for 2005' s male employees.
Moreover
, while x-axis represents these countries, percentage
is indicated
by
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
y axis
.

In 1995, the highest male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was in Iceland with almost 70%, whereas
Possible spelling mistake found.
Switzerland&
#039; s female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
dominated
Possible spelling mistake found.
woman&
#039; s department with more than two-quarters.
Furthermore
, the maximum male and female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
difference was in New Zealand (Approximately 60% and close to a quarter), the lowest difference
was observed
in UK (
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above two-quarters and around 50%).

In 2005,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iceland&
#039; s male occupation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was highest with more than 3 quarters, while three-fifths female
were employed
in Switzerland, which was highest.
However
, in Australia male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was lowest for
Possible spelling mistake found.
men&
#039; s
Possible spelling mistake found.
catagory
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 70%.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The chart below shows the employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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