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The chart shows the end of year value for four major international money market indices from 2002 to 2008. [Dow Jones = US Market Index, DAX 30 = German Market Index, CAC 40 = French Market Index, KOSPI = Korean Market Index]Summarise the information by s v.2

The chart shows the end of year value for four major international money market indices from 2002 to 2008. [Dow Jones = US Market Index, DAX 30 = German Market Index, CAC 40 = French Market Index, KOSPI = Korean Market Index]
The bar chart gives an overview about the value of four major international money market indexes (UK' s FTSE 100; US' s Dow Jones; Korean' s KOSPI and French' s CAC 40) from 2005 to 2008. In general, the four international money markets all showed a downward trend. In addition, the UK market index remained the highest while the Korean market index stayed the lowest throughout the time frame. As can be seen from the bar chart, the FTSE 100 surpassed all of the other money markets. Starting at nearly 11000, the value surged considerably by about 10000 from 2005 to 2007. However, the figure witnessed an exponential drop in 2008 when it was half its value in 2007, ended the period at nearly 9000. This is followed closely by the Dow Jones indexes, starting the period with under 6000 then gradually rose to 6500 in 2 years before decreasing by a third of its level in 2007. Regarding KOSPI, from 2005 to 2008, the value fluctuated slightly, reaching a peak of 2000 in 2007 then fell back to its level in 2005, which is a mere 1000. For CAC 40, the bar chart recorded a slight change in the value of its money market indexes, it started at under 5000 and increased insignificantly by a small figure before plummeting to over 3000.
The bar chart gives an overview about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of four major international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indexes
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
UK&
#039; s FTSE 100;
Possible spelling mistake found.
US&
#039; s Dow Jones;
Possible spelling mistake found.
Korean&
#039; s
Possible spelling mistake found.
KOSPI
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
French&
#039; s CAC 40) from 2005 to 2008.

In general
, the four international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
markets all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward trend.
In addition
, the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
index
remained the highest while the Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
index
stayed the lowest throughout the time frame.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the bar chart, the FTSE 100 surpassed
Consider using "all the".
all of the
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
markets. Starting at
nearly
11000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
surged
considerably
by about 10000 from 2005 to 2007.
However
, the figure witnessed an exponential drop in 2008 when it was half its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
in 2007, ended the period at
nearly
9000. This
is followed
closely
by the Dow Jones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indexes
, starting the period with under 6000 then
gradually
rose to
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
6500 in 2
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
decreasing by a third of its level in 2007.

Regarding
Possible spelling mistake found.
KOSPI
, from 2005 to 2008, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
fluctuated
slightly
, reaching a peak of 2000 in 2007 then fell back to its level in 2005, which is a mere 1000. For CAC 40, the bar chart recorded a slight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indexes
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at under 5000 and increased
insignificantly
by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
figure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
plummeting to over 3000.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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Frank Smith

IELTS academic The chart shows the end of year value for four major international money market indices from 2002 to 2008. [Dow Jones = US Market Index, DAX 30 = German Market Index, CAC 40 = French Market Index, KOSPI = Korean Market Index]

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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