Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011 v.1

The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011 v. 1
The table compares how many people using a bicycle by age and gender in 2011. Generally, children under 9 years old used bicycles the most, while middle-aged people were the least likely to ride a bicycle. Besides, women tended to cycle more than men during the period shown. As can be seen from the table, the 0-9 age group occupied the largest proportion of cyclists, with about 52% for females and just a little less with over 50% for males. However, at 10-17 age the number of girls riding a bicycle was 42%, while the figure for boys halved to around 25% compared to the original. Regarding the other older groups, only having 17% of the ladies and approximately 10% of the guys from 18 to 39 year old enjoyed this activity. In the 40-59 age gather, it seems that cycling was not very popular, so the figure for both males and females were 8% and 12%, respectively, the lowest in the table. According to the last group (60 and over), the percentage of women cycled accounting for 18% and that of men made up 13%.
The table compares how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and gender in 2011.

Generally
, children under 9 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
the most, while middle-aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were the least likely to ride a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
.
Besides
, women tended to cycle more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
during the period shown.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table, the 0-9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group occupied the largest proportion of cyclists, with about 52% for females and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less with over 50% for males.
However
, at 10-17
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
the number of girls riding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
was 42%, while the figure for boys halved to around 25% compared to the original.

Regarding the other older groups,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
having 17% of the ladies and approximately 10% of the guys from 18 to 39 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
enjoyed this activity. In the 40-59
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gather, it seems that cycling was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the figure for both males and females were 8% and 12%,
respectively
, the lowest in the table. According to the last group (60 and over), the percentage of women cycled accounting for 18% and that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
made up 13%.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS academic The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011 v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts