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The graph below shoes the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v.2

The graph below shoes the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 2
The line chart presents information on the amount of fish and various meat consumed by the European nation from 1979 to 2004, a 25 year time-period. In general, by 2004, chicken had witnessed a sharp increase, while beef and lamb had a significant decline and fish had fallen slightly. In 1979, the consumption of beef per person per week was the highest, at around 220 grams. The amount of lamb was 150 grams in 1979, which was marginally higher than chicken at that time. However, after a few years, the consumption of chicken skyrocketed and first saw the highest amount in 1989 just under 200 grams, while the figure of beef had a downward trend. Similar to beef, lamb had also experienced a decrease by almost 100 grams by 2004. Compared to the above three types of meat, the amount of fish fluctuated relatively more stable. From 1979 to 1984, it decreased just about 20 grams and reached a plateau for the later 20 years.
The line chart presents information on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of fish and various meat consumed by the European nation from 1979 to 2004, a 25 year time-period.

In general
, by 2004, chicken had witnessed a sharp increase, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
and lamb had a significant decline and fish had fallen
slightly
.

In 1979, the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
per person per week was the highest, at around 220
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of lamb was 150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1979, which was
marginally
higher than chicken at that time.
However
, after a few years, the consumption of chicken skyrocketed and
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
in 1989
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
, while the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
had a downward trend. Similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
, lamb had
also
experienced a decrease by almost 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
by 2004.

Compared to the above three types of meat, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of fish fluctuated
relatively
more stable. From 1979 to 1984, it decreased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
and reached a plateau for the later 20 years.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The graph below shoes the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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