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The chart illustrates the proportion of males and females living in a province and using bicycles in 5 different age groups in 2011. v.2

The chart illustrates the proportion of males and females living in a province and using bicycles in 5 different age groups in 2011. v. 2
The chart illustrates the proportion of males and females living in a province and using bicycles in 5 different age groups in 2011. It is obvious that females were dominant in all ages in comparison with males. In addition, the percentage of people in the ages from 0 to 9 years old was in the majority. In the term of the 0-9 year-old group, both genders were quite equally represented at 51. 3% and 50. 3% respectively for female and male. At 42. 2%, the proportion of female people who cycled in the 10-17 age group was nearly twice as much as this of male ones represented at 24. 6%. Besides, the female cyclists in the group of 18-39 years old was 17. 1% which was about 7% as high as the male ones. In the term of the 40-59 year-old group, there was a decrease of around 4% in the percentage of female people who rode cycles compared with this of male people represented at 8%. For the group above 60 years old, female and male people using bicycles accounted for 18. 5% and 13. 2% respectively.
The chart illustrates the proportion of
males
and
females
living in a province and using bicycles in 5
different
age
groups
in 2011.

It is obvious that
females
were dominant in all
ages
in comparison
with
males
.
In addition
, the percentage of
people
in the
ages
from 0 to 9 years
old
was in the majority.

In the term of the 0-9 year-
old
group
, both genders were quite
equally
represented at 51. 3% and 50. 3%
respectively
for
female
and male. At 42. 2%, the proportion of
female
people
who cycled in the 10-17
age
group
was
nearly
twice as much as this of male ones represented at 24. 6%.
Besides
, the
female
cyclists in the
group
of 18-39 years
old
was 17. 1% which was about 7% as high as the male ones.

In the term of the 40-59 year-
old
group
, there was a decrease of around 4% in the percentage of
female
people
who rode cycles compared with this of male
people
represented at 8%. For the
group
above 60 years
old
,
female
and male
people
using bicycles accounted for 18. 5% and 13. 2%
respectively
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart illustrates the proportion of males and females living in a province and using bicycles in 5 different age groups in 2011. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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