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The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011. v.2

The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011. v. 2
Given is the table illustrating the number of people in all age used bicycles in a town around 2011. It is clear from the table that female in all age group occupied the most percentage on bicycles. By contrast, male was the category receiving the least expenditure. For the female, the rate of people aged 0-9 was highest, at 51, 3%, while, the figure for people who were 10-17 was significantly lower, at 42, 2%. Women who took part in riding bicycles over 60 years old accounted for 18, 5%. Meanwhile, the percentage of 18-39-year-old people and 40-59-year-old people were lowest, at 17, 1% and 12, 3% respectively. The proportion of male who rode bicycles in the 0-9 age group was also highest among 5 age group, at 50, 3%. 10-17-year-olds and 18-39-year-olds riders made up 24, 6% and 9, 7% respectively, while, 13, 2% of men over 60 years old chose to use bicycles. By contrast, spending on this item in the 40-59 age group was the smallest proportion, at 8% of the total spending on bicycles.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
is the table illustrating the number of
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people
in all
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age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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bicycles
in a town around 2011.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the table that female in all
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age
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group
occupied the most percentage on
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bicycles
. By contrast, male was the category receiving the least expenditure.

For the female, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 0-9 was highest, at 51, 3%, while, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were 10-17 was
significantly
lower, at 42, 2%. Women who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in riding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
over 60 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
accounted for 18, 5%. Meanwhile, the percentage of 18-39-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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people
and 40-59-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were lowest, at 17, 1% and 12, 3%
respectively
.

The proportion of male who rode
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
in the 0-9
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
was
also
highest among 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, at 50, 3%. 10-17-year-olds and 18-39-year-olds riders made up 24, 6% and 9, 7%
respectively
, while, 13, 2% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
over 60 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
chose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
. By contrast, spending on this item in the 40-59
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
was the smallest proportion, at 8% of the total spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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