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The table below shows the numbers of visitor to ashdowm. Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. the charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period the sam v.2

The table below shows the numbers of visitor to ashdowm. Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. the charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period the sam v. 2
The charts reveals that information of represention the number of visitor to ashdowm museum as well as the year before and the year after it was refurbished. It is gives two charts. The tabular chart and circular chart. Moving a quick glance on the illustration, the year before refubishment number of visitors to ashdowm museum in 74, 00 but then due the after year refusbishment are more than fall up number of visitors to ashdowm museum in 92, 000. On the flip side, the pie chart the result of survey of visitor satisfaction. Hence, few year back, the dissatisfied was higher visitor stisfaction in 40and nearly by declined was very staisfied in 30. Afterthat, the no respone the surveys of visitor satisfaction was very reduced proportion in 5. Otherwise, after year rufurbishment was boomed in very satisfied and satisfied increased the ratio was equal serveys of visitor satisfaction in 35 to 45. Last, the no response the dwellers was the very dissatisfied are same proprotion in 5. To sum up, during the year after refusbishment are rose in 92, 000. Then, in the before year and after year are equal ratio in satisfied 30 to 35.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
You should probably use "reveal".
reveals
that information of
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represention
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ashdowm
museum
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after it
was refurbished
. It is gives two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
. The tabular
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chart
and circular chart.

Moving a quick glance on the illustration, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
refubishment
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ashdowm
museum in 74, 00
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then due the after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Possible spelling mistake found.
refusbishment
are more than fall up number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ashdowm
museum in 92, 000.

On the flip side, the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
the result of survey of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
satisfaction.
Hence
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
back, the dissatisfied was higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
Possible spelling mistake found.
stisfaction
in 40and
nearly
by declined was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
staisfied
in 30.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afterthat
, the no
Possible spelling mistake found.
respone
the surveys of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
satisfaction was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
proportion in 5.
Otherwise
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Possible spelling mistake found.
rufurbishment
was boomed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfied and satisfied increased the ratio was equal
Possible spelling mistake found.
serveys
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
satisfaction in 35 to 45. Last, the no response the dwellers was the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied are same
Possible spelling mistake found.
proprotion
in 5.

To sum up, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after
Possible spelling mistake found.
refusbishment
are rose in 92, 000. Then, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
are equal ratio in satisfied 30 to 35.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes
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IELTS academic The table below shows the numbers of visitor to ashdowm. Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. the charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period the sam v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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