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he table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summar v.2

he table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summar v. 2
The table displays how many people visited Ashdown Museum and the pie charts illustrate how satisfied they felt before and after it was renovated. It can be clearly seen that the number of people visiting the museum and their satisfaction considerably increased after it was reconstructed. After the refurbishment, the museum received many more visitors, from 74, 000 to 92, 000, a remarkable increase of 18, 000. Noticeably, it also gained much more positive feedback from them. While before the renovation, just 15% of visitors felt very satisfied with the museum, the rating figure doubled to 35% after the work done. The number of those who found it satisfying also rose considerably from 30% to 40%. While the museum enjoyed the much higher level of visitor satisfaction, the proportion of negative feedback decreased significantly from 40% for dissatisfaction to 15%, a drop of well over half. The figure for the people who rated the museum as very dissatisfying also fell half, from 10% to 5%.
The table displays how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ashdown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
and the pie charts illustrate how satisfied they felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after it
was renovated
.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and their satisfaction
considerably
increased after it
was reconstructed
.

After the refurbishment, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more visitors, from 74, 000 to 92, 000, a remarkable increase of 18, 000.
Noticeably
, it
also
gained much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedback from them. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the renovation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
15% of visitors felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfied with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, the rating figure doubled to 35% after the work done. The number of those who found it satisfying
also
rose
considerably
from 30% to 40%.

While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
enjoyed the much higher level of visitor satisfaction, the proportion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feedback decreased
significantly
from 40% for dissatisfaction to 15%, a drop of well over half. The figure for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who rated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfying
also
fell half, from 10% to 5%.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic he table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summar v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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