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The graph below shows four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported in 2012. v.2

The graph below shows four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported in 2012. v. 2
The bar charts illustrate the amount of four types of citrus fruits (oranges, lemons, grapefruits, and others) which were exported in different countries in 2012. Units are measured in thousand tonnes. Overall, it is apparent that Mexico was the highest exporter of lemons and other citrus fruits. On the other hand, South Africa and Turkey exported the highest amount of oranges and grapefruits respectively, in compared to other countries in the given time period. One noticeable point is that the United States was the only country who exported all four categories of citrus fruits. Mexico exported the highest amount of lemons, more precisely 500 thousand tonnes, in compared to the United States and Argentina who exported 200 and 100 thousand tonnes respectively. Mexico also exported grapefruits and other citrus fruits except oranges. The amount of other citrus fruits which was exported by Mexico far higher than the other countries. This amount was equal to the amount of exported lemon fruits. South Africa and Turkey exported 1000 and 400 thousand tonnes of oranges and grapefruits respectively. The amount of oranges Egypt exported were half than the amount of South Africa, but 100 thousand tonnes higher than the United States. While Mexico exported 300 thousand tonnes of grapefruits, the United States exported 100 thousand tonnes less than it.
The bar charts illustrate the
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amount
of four types of citrus
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fruits
(oranges, lemons, grapefruits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
) which were
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exported
in
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different
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countries
in 2012. Units
are measured
in
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
tonnes.

Overall
, it is apparent that Mexico was the highest exporter of lemons and
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other
citrus
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fruits
. On the
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other
hand, South Africa and Turkey
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exported
the highest
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amount
of oranges and grapefruits
respectively
, in compared to
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other
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countries
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period. One noticeable point is that the
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United
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States
was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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country
who
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exported
all four categories of citrus fruits.

Mexico
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exported
the highest
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amount
of lemons, more
precisely
500 thousand tonnes, in compared to the
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United
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States
and Argentina who
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exported
200 and 100 thousand tonnes
respectively
. Mexico
also
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exported
grapefruits and
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other
citrus
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fruits
except oranges. The
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amount
of
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other
citrus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
which was
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exported
by Mexico far higher than the
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This
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amount
was equal to the
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amount
of
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exported
lemon fruits.

South Africa and Turkey
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exported
1000 and 400 thousand tonnes of oranges and grapefruits
respectively
. The
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amount
of oranges Egypt
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exported
were half than the
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amount
of South Africa,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
100 thousand tonnes higher than the
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United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
. While Mexico
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exported
300 thousand tonnes of grapefruits, the
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United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exported
100 thousand tonnes less than it.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic The graph below shows four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported in 2012. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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