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The chart below shows the resources used to make 1000 disposable cups in different materials polystyrene and paper v.2

The chart below shows the resources used to make 1000 disposable cups in different materials polystyrene and paper v. 2
The table illustrates the amount of different resources which is required to produce 1000 disposable polystyrene and paper cups. Overall, it is apparent that for producing a thousand of paper cups, all the given materials are used is higher than the polystyrene cups, except stem and other chemicals. On the other hand, there is no wood is used for making polystyrene cups. The highest amount of stem is required to make one thousand of polystyrene cups, and this amount is 130 kg, compared to the paper cups which required only 0. 56 kg. However, for making the polystyrene cups there is no wood is used, 220 kg of wood is required to make a thousand of paper cups. The use of electricity and petroleum for producing the paper cups is 13 and 3 times higher respectively than the polystyrene cups. While 10 meter cubes of water is needed for producing 1000 of paper cups, the polystyrene cups only required less than 1 meter cube. In contrast, 5 kg more other chemicals is used for the production of polystyrene cups.
The table illustrates the amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
resources which is
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required
to produce 1000 disposable polystyrene and paper cups.

Overall
, it is apparent that for producing a thousand of paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
, all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
materials are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
is higher than the polystyrene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
, except stem and other chemicals.
On the other hand
, there is no wood is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for making polystyrene cups.

The highest amount of stem is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one thousand of polystyrene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
, and this amount is 130 kg, compared to the paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 56 kg.
However
, for making the polystyrene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
there is no wood is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, 220 kg of wood is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a thousand of paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electricity and petroleum for producing the paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
is 13 and 3 times higher
respectively
than the polystyrene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
. While
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "10-meter"
10 meter
cubes of water
is needed
for producing 1000 of paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
, the polystyrene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
less than 1 meter cube.
In contrast
, 5 kg more other chemicals is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the production of polystyrene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cups
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the resources used to make 1000 disposable cups in different materials polystyrene and paper v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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