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The table below shows the numbers of people in each age group working in certain sectors in the UK in 1998 and 2006 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The table below shows the numbers of people in each age group working in certain sectors in the UK in 1998 and 2006
The table presents how many people work in 4 sectors in the UK in 2 separated years 1998 and 2006. The data is structured in 5 groups based on age from 18 to 65 years old. In hotel and catering sector the number of people working increased in almost every group with the exception of the youngest while in the building department every group suffered a decrease over the 8 years period. In the technology sector there was a massive growth for all ages having in 2006 the biggest amount of employees. For the education sector there is not a big difference between the 2 years, except for the oldest category which had approximately a 20, 000 decline. The building sector had in 1998 the highest amount of workers from the first age group reaching 112, 565, but for others the education sector was the most appealing. In 2006 the technology department scored spectacular numbers for people under 56, and for the rest education remained the most wanted sector.
The table presents how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work in 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in the UK in 2 separated years 1998 and 2006. The data
is structured
in 5
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groups
based on age from 18 to 65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

In hotel and catering
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sector
the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working increased in almost every
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group
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
the youngest while in the building department every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
suffered a decrease over the 8 years period.

In the technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
there was a massive growth for all ages having in 2006 the biggest amount of employees. For the education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
there is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference between the 2 years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the oldest category which had approximately a 20, 000 decline.

The building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
had in 1998 the highest amount of workers from the
first
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
reaching 112, 565,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for others the education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was the most appealing. In 2006 the technology department scored spectacular numbers for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under 56, and for the rest education remained the most wanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS academic The table below shows the numbers of people in each age group working in certain sectors in the UK in 1998 and 2006

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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