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The Graph below shows the working hours for men and women in the developingworld between the years 1998 to 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons wherever necessary. v.2

The Graph below shows the working hours for men and women in the developingworld between the years 1998 to 2003.
The presented bar chart illustrates how many hours spent at work by men and women in eight underdeveloped nations between 1998 and 2003. In general, a majority of the time spent at work by both genders was in Mongolia. Additionally, the extra hours contributed by Mexican women was more than women in other countries. Looking at the details, at first, the average working hours for each mentioned country was just above 6 hours per day. Particularly, in Mongolia, workers of both genders spent more than 8 hours at work, followed by Indians, Mexicans, Malagasy, North Korea, and Mauritians, who spent a little above 6 hours. Regarding the two remaining countries, namely Benin and South Africa, male and female workers there spent between 4 and 6 hours at work. What’s more, women in Benin had the largest extra time at work with 145 minutes, which was 40 minutes more than Mexican women’s volume. Especially, both figures overtook the average extra hours (69 minutes). Female workers in five remaining nations, excepting Mongolia - where women spent the least amount of time for extra working with only 24 minutes, had less overtime paid for work, ranging from 44 minutes to 65 minutes.
The presented bar chart illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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hours
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spent
at
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work
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
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women
in eight underdeveloped nations between 1998 and 2003.

In general
, a majority of the time
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spent
at
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work
by both genders was in Mongolia.
Additionally
, the
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extra
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hours
contributed by Mexican
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was more than
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women
in other countries.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, at
first
, the average working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for each mentioned country was
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just
above 6
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hours
per day.
Particularly
, in Mongolia, workers of both genders
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spent
more than 8
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hours
at
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work
, followed by Indians, Mexicans, Malagasy, North Korea, and Mauritians, who
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spent
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
above 6
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hours
. Regarding the two remaining countries,
namely
Benin and South Africa, male and female workers there
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spent
between 4 and 6
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hours
at work.

What’s more,
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women
in Benin had the largest
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extra
time at
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work
with 145 minutes, which was 40 minutes more than Mexican
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women’s
volume.
Especially
, both figures overtook the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
(69 minutes). Female workers in five remaining nations, excepting Mongolia
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
where
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women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the least amount of time for
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extra
working with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
24 minutes, had less overtime paid for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, ranging from 44 minutes to 65 minutes.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The Graph below shows the working hours for men and women in the developingworld between the years 1998 to 2003.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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