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The graph below shows the working hours for men and women in the developing world between the years 1998 and 2003Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where necessary v.1

The graph below shows the working hours for men and women in the developing world between the years 1998 and 2003
the line graph compares the number of hours that male and female workers did in the various developing nations in two separate years, 1998 and 2003. Overall, people in Mongolia had the largest figure for work than the other countries while South Africa had the lowest hours used to work. Meanwhile, women in Benin also had to work much time than the average. On the one hand, the working hours in Mongolia was over 8 hours per day, which also the highest figure. By contrast, only 44 minutes was spent to work by women in there. At the same time, there was a similar figure over 8 hours that people had to work per day in Benin, Mexico, and India but Benin witnessed the higher hours that women worked. On the other hand, the population in South Africa just spent only closely 6 hours each day to work, it also the lowest figure compared to the working hours in Rep. Of Korea, Madagascar, with nearly 8 hours.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
line graph compares the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
that male and female workers did in the various developing nations in two separate years, 1998 and 2003.

Overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Mongolia had the largest
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figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than the other countries while South Africa had the lowest
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hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
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work
. Meanwhile, women in Benin
also
had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
much time than the average.

On the one hand, the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in Mongolia was over 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per day, which
also
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
. By contrast,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
44 minutes
was spent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by women in there. At the same time, there was a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
over 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
per day in Benin, Mexico, and India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Benin witnessed the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
that women worked.

On the other hand
, the population in South Africa
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just
spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
closely
6
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hours
each day to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, it
also
the lowest
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figure
compared to the working
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hours
in Rep. Of Korea, Madagascar, with
nearly
8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the working hours for men and women in the developing world between the years 1998 and 2003

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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