Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The table below shows the figures (in thousand) for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v.3

The table below shows the figures (in thousand) for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 3
The bar chart depicts the number of prisoners in thousands, in five different countries, namely Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United States and Canada during a period of 50 years commencing from 1930. Overall, the graph gives an impression that, imprisonment rate in the USA and UK escalated over the time while in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, it actually decreased. As is evident in the presentation, Great Britain had the lowest number of imprisonment throughout the initial 40 years till 1980. Interestingly, Britain had witnessed a steady growth in figures, which started from around 30000 in the year 1930 and reached around 70000 in the year 1970. By contrast, the United States had the maximum number of criminals throughout the entire span of years except in the first decade, which is 1930. Moreover, in the year 1980, United States had to imprison the highest number of citizens in the entire period, which accounted for around 130000. It is apparent from the graph that the crime rate in Canada had fallen gradually and steadily, from 120000 people in 1930 to a significantly less 90000 people in 1980. However, except for the years, 1930 and 1980, Australia had considerably less number of jailing and the New Zealand had always positioned as top three consistently just behind Canada and the United States.
The bar chart depicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of prisoners in thousands, in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
namely
Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
and Canada during a period of 50 years commencing from 1930.
Overall
, the graph gives an impression that, imprisonment rate in the USA and UK escalated over the time while in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, it actually decreased.

As is evident in the presentation, Great Britain had the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of imprisonment throughout the initial 40 years till 1980.
Interestingly
, Britain had witnessed a steady growth in figures, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from around 30000 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1930 and reached around 70000 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1970. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
had the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of criminals throughout the entire span of years except in the
first
decade, which is 1930.
Moreover
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1980,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
had to imprison the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of citizens in the entire period, which accounted for around 130000.

It is apparent from the graph that the crime rate in Canada had fallen
gradually
and
steadily
, from 120000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 1930 to a
significantly
less 90000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 1980.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the years, 1930 and 1980, Australia had
considerably
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of jailing and the New Zealand had always positioned as top three
consistently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
behind Canada and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows the figures (in thousand) for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
219 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts