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The chart below shows the figures (in thousand) for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v.2

The chart below shows the figures (in thousand) for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 2
The chart illustrates the imprisonment in five nations from 1930 to 1980. At first glance, United States had the highest average amount of imprisonment while Great Britain held the lowest imprisonment rate. In 1930, Canada had the highest imprisonment rate with 120, 000 custodies, followed by the United States and New Zealand with 100, 000 cases. Australia had the much lower imprisonment rate with approximately 70, 000 cases while Britain held the lowest figure with only nearly 30, 000 captures. In 1940, the figure of Great Britain remained unchanged while Australia and New Zealand ‘s figures decreased steeply. These figures stayed almost constant in the following two decades. On the other hand, United States became the nation with the highest capture rate at the time with over 120, 000 cases followed by Canada with around 110, 000 cases. Both figures experienced a fluctuation in twenty years. In 1960, the United States again held the highest imprisonment rate with almost 120, 000 custodies while Canada recorded precisely 100, 000 cases. Great Britain, Australia and New Zealand shared an equal capture rate in 1970 as all of them recorded nearly 70, 000 cases. Another noticeable feature is that the capture rate in United States and Canada decreased to over 90, 000 and over 80, 000 cases. There were significant changes in 1980 as Great Britain and New Zealand number of imprisonment cases rose to over 80, 000 while the number of custodies in Australia fell a third. America confinement rate rocketed to over 130, 000 captures. In contrast, the figure of Canada increased unnoticeably, reached nearly 90, 000.
The chart illustrates the
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imprisonment
in five nations from 1930 to 1980. At
first
glance,
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United
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States
had the highest average amount of
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imprisonment
while Great Britain held the lowest
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imprisonment
rate.

In 1930, Canada had the highest
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imprisonment
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rate
with 120, 000
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custodies
, followed by the
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United
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States
and
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New
Zealand with 100, 000 cases. Australia had the much lower
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imprisonment
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rate
with approximately 70, 000 cases while Britain held the lowest
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figure
with
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only
nearly
30, 000 captures.

In 1940, the
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figure
of Great Britain remained unchanged while Australia and
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New
Zealand ‘s
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figures
decreased
steeply
. These
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figures
stayed almost constant in the following two decades.
On the other hand
,
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United
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States
became the nation with the highest
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capture
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rate
at the time with
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over
120, 000 cases followed by Canada with around 110, 000 cases. Both
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figures
experienced a fluctuation in twenty years. In 1960, the
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United
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States
again held the highest
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imprisonment
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rate
with almost 120, 000
Possible spelling mistake found.
custodies
while Canada recorded
precisely
100, 000 cases.

Great Britain, Australia and
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New
Zealand shared an equal
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capture
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rate
in 1970 as all of them recorded
nearly
70, 000 cases. Another noticeable feature is that the
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capture
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rate
in
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United
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States
and Canada decreased to
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over
90, 000 and
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over
80, 000 cases. There were significant
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changes
in 1980 as Great Britain and
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New
Zealand number of
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imprisonment
cases rose to
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over
80, 000 while the number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
custodies
in Australia fell a third.
The genitive is possibly missing.
America confinement
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rate
rocketed to
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over
130, 000
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captures
.
In contrast
, the
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figure
of Canada increased
unnoticeably
, reached
nearly
90, 000.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the figures (in thousand) for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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