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The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. v.3

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. v. 3
The bar graph compares the spending on six consumer products by citizens in four European countries. Overall, British spent more on these products than the citizens in other three countries did and their highest amount went on purchasing photographic films, toys and CDs. As is observed, English spent 155 thousand pound sterling for purchasing personal stereos and the same amount for tennis racquets. French and German paid around 147 thousand for stereos and Italians a few thousand more. Italians spent the same amount as English did for tennis bats, which was more than the amount spent by Germans and French. British disbursed the highest amount for obtaining photographic films and toys and these amounts stood at 170 and 167 thousand pounds. French people spent 5-6 thousand less on these two items but their spending was higher than the amount paid by Italians and Germans for these two items. Spending on CDs by English was slightly lower than that of toys, 165 thousand and Germans spent the least amount on this product. Finally, British people spent 160 thousand for buying perfumes and it was 155, 150 and around 146 thousand by Italian, German and French respectively.
The bar graph compares the spending on six consumer products by citizens in four European countries.
Overall
, British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more on these products than the citizens in other three countries did and their highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
went on purchasing photographic films, toys and CDs.

As
is observed
, English
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spent
155 thousand pound sterling for purchasing personal stereos and the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
for tennis racquets. French and German paid around 147 thousand for stereos and Italians a few thousand more. Italians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
as English did for tennis bats, which was more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by Germans and French.

British disbursed the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
for obtaining photographic films and toys and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
stood at 170 and 167 thousand pounds. French
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
5-6 thousand less on these two items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their spending was higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
paid by Italians and Germans for these two items.

Spending on CDs by English was
slightly
lower than that of toys, 165 thousand and Germans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
on this product.
Finally
, British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
160 thousand for buying perfumes and it was 155, 150 and around 146 thousand by Italian, German and French
respectively
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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