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The table below shows the figures (in thousand) for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v.2

The table below shows the figures (in thousand) for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 2
The table chart compares the numbers of prisoners from 1930 to 1980 in five different countries, namely Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, the United States and Canada. At a glance at the graph reveals that imprisonment figure in the USA and UK climbed over the period and in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, it actually declined. It is clearly seen that the United States had the highest number of inmates. Also, Britain had the lowest figure in 4 out of 6 years. In 1930, the number of prisoners in the United  States was the highest, with 120 thousand prisoners, then this number increased significantly to reach a peak of 140 thousand in 1980. By contrast, Britain had the lowest figure of prisoners until 1970, then the figure jumped suddenly to reach 90 thousand. Canada had the highest number of imprisonment in 1930 and 1960 with nearly 140 thousand people in each year. In 1970 the number of prisoners in Great Britain, New Zealand and Australia was same, about 70 thousand people. In 1980, 50 thousands of people in New Zealand were put in prison which was the lowest figure in this year.
The table chart compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
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prisoners
from 1930 to 1980 in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
namely
Great Britain, Australia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand, the United States and Canada. At a glance at the graph reveals that imprisonment
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figure
in the USA and UK climbed over the period and in Canada, Australia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand, it actually declined.

It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the United States had the highest
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number
of inmates.
Also
, Britain had the lowest
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figure
in 4 out of 6 years. In 1930, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
in the United
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
States was the highest, with 120 thousand
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prisoners
, then this
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number
increased
significantly
to reach a peak of 140 thousand in 1980. By contrast, Britain had the lowest
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figure
of
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prisoners
until 1970, then the
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figure
jumped
suddenly
to reach 90 thousand.

Canada had the highest
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number
of imprisonment in 1930 and 1960 with
nearly
140 thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in each year. In 1970 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
in Great Britain,
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New
Zealand and Australia was same, about 70 thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In 1980,
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "50 thousand".
50 thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand
were put
in prison which was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in this year.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows the figures (in thousand) for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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