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the table below shows the cinema viewing figures for different types of films by country, in millions v.2

the table below shows the cinema viewing figures for different types of films by country, in millions v. 2
The graph illustrates the average number of movie-fans from different countries prefer to watch films at the cinema. In general, it is plainly visible that Indians are the best cinema audience. Another interesting point is that while the action is the most watched movie genre, the horror is the least one. A closer look to the details reveals that Indian people prefer to watch more films at the cinema than other nationalities, nearly under a quarter millions. As regards the most popular genre, the action has the highest ratio of watching, about one-third million. However, the horror has the lowest one, respectively above the tenth million. With respect to the lowest figures, Japanese people were the least attendees of cinemas, nearly 2 million. Subsequent nationalities share roughly the same ratio in attending the cinema. Regards the genres viewing figures are fluctuating between 4 and 5 million. The obvious difference is in watching the horror movies. As Irish people have the most of their share of enjoying this genre than the others, standing at 6. 4 million.
The graph illustrates the average number of movie-fans from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
In general
, it is
plainly
visible that Indians are the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
audience. Another interesting point is that while the action is the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genre
, the horror is the least one.

A closer look to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
reveals that Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
more films at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
than other nationalities,
nearly
under a quarter
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "million"?
millions
. As regards the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genre
, the action has the highest ratio of watching, about one-third
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
.
However
, the horror has the lowest one,
respectively
above the tenth million.

With respect to the lowest figures, Japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were the least attendees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
,
nearly
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Subsequent nationalities share roughly the same ratio in attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
. Regards the genres viewing figures are fluctuating between 4 and 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. The obvious difference is in watching the horror movies. As Irish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the most of their share of enjoying this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genre
than the others, standing at 6. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic the table below shows the cinema viewing figures for different types of films by country, in millions v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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