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The table below shows shares of companies advertising expenditure in different media sectors in 3 countries (australia, Vietnam, Japan) in 2005 v.2

The table below shows shares of companies advertising expenditure in different media sectors in 3 countries (australia, Vietnam, Japan) in 2005 v. 2
The chart illustrates the proportion of four distinct kinds of mass media used by businesses in Australia, Viet Nam, Japan in the year 2005 It was notable that the largest proportion of advertising spending in each country went on television. On the other hand, The Internet was seemed to be less popular than others to advertise the products. As can be seen from the table, Companies in Japan poured most of the money into TV advertising service, this figure was doubling that in Australia with only 31%. In comparison with this category, the percentage of expense on the newspaper was quite low in all countries with Vietnam having the most significant figure at 29% and the lowest belonged to Japan at 16% Out of the less well-liked media, The Internet was witnessed a considerably lower percentage than any kind of public communication in each country at around 4%. Meanwhile, Viet Nam and Australia had the same number of their consumption on the radio with 21% while this figure for Japan was 7% lower compared to 2 other countries at just 14%
The chart illustrates the proportion of four distinct kinds of mass media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by businesses in Australia,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam,
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Japan
in the year 2005

It was notable that the largest proportion of advertising spending in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
went on television.
On the other hand
, The Internet
was seemed
to be less popular than others to advertise the products.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
in
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Japan
poured most of the money into TV advertising service, this figure was doubling that in Australia with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
31%.
In comparison
with this category, the percentage of expense on the newspaper was quite low in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with Vietnam having the most significant figure at 29% and the lowest belonged to
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Japan
at 16%

Out of the less well-liked media, The Internet
was witnessed
a
considerably
lower percentage than any kind of public communication in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
at around 4%. Meanwhile,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam and Australia had the same number of their consumption on the radio with 21% while this figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was 7% lower compared to 2 other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
14%
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The table below shows shares of companies advertising expenditure in different media sectors in 3 countries (australia, Vietnam, Japan) in 2005 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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