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The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national andinternational fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national an v.2

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national andinternational fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national an v. 2
The line graph illustrates the average amount of money spent yearly on mobile phones, national and international landline phones in the US over a period of 9 years. It is clear that while the yearly spending on mobile phones increased significantly, the opposite was true for national landline phone expenditure. Also, the figure for international fixed-line service was lowest during the period. In 2001, there was an average of nearly $700 spent on national landline phones by US residents, in comparison with only around $200 each on mobile phones and international landline services. Over the next five years, the average amount poured into national fixed-line phones fell by approximately $200. By constrast, yearly spending on cell phones witnessed a significant increase of roughly $300. At the same time, the figure for overseas landline services fluctuated slightly below $300. In 2006, US consumers spent the same amount of money on mobile and national fixed-line services, with just over $500 on each. From the year 2006 onwards, it can be seen that the average yearly expenditure on mobile phones surpassed that on national fixed-line phones and mobile phones became the most common means of communication. To be specific, yearly spending on mobile phone services increased to nearly $750 in the last year, while the figure for national landline phone ones decreased to about $400 at the end of the period. During the same period, there was a stability in the figure for overseas phone calls.
The line graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
amount of money spent
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yearly
on mobile
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phones
,
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national
and

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international
landline
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phones
in the US over a period of 9 years.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
yearly
spending on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
increased
significantly
, the opposite was true

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
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national
landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
expenditure.
Also
, the
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figure
for international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line service was lowest

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
during
the period.

In 2001, there was an
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average
of
nearly
$700 spent on
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national
landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
by US residents, in

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comparison
with
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only
around $200 each on mobile
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phones
and international landline services. Over
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the


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next
five years, the
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average
amount poured into
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national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
fell by approximately $200.

By
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constrast
,
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yearly
spending on cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
witnessed a significant increase of roughly $300. At
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
same
time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for overseas landline services fluctuated
slightly
below $300.

In 2006, US consumers spent the same amount of money on mobile and
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national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line services,

with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over $500 on each. From the year 2006 onwards, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
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average
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
yearly


expenditure on mobile
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phones
surpassed that on
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national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
became

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
most common means of communication. To be specific,
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yearly
spending on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
services


increased to
nearly
$750 in the last year, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
ones decreased to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
about
$400 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. During the same period, there was a stability in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
for


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national andinternational fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national an v. 2

Academic
  American English
17 paragraphs
243 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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