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The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday. v.6

The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday. v. 6
The table illustrates a typical weekdays’ sales of a coffee shop which is located in an office building. The sales of coffee, tea, pastries, and sandwich are shown in four times,   7. 30-10. 30, 10. 30-2. 30, 2. 30-5. 30, and 5. 30-8. 30. It can be clearly seen that the highest sale in a day was recorded for coffee. The best selling time is between 7. 30 am - 10. 30 am, when the sales of each item are the biggest, except for the sandwich. The sale of sandwiches is just 50 at that time. Coffee becomes a favourite menu for costumers in the morning and evening. The sale of this menu is the highest within 7. 30-10. 30 am and 5. 30-8. 30 pm, which is 265 and 200 respectively. The sales of sandwich become the highest at 10. 30 am -2. 30 pm period while coffee is in the second rank with 185 sales. At 2. 30-5. 30 pm, the sale of pastries is the highest among the menu. However, this number is under the morning sales of pastries which is 275. To sum up, coffee has the highest sales in a day. On the contrary, the sale of tea is the lowest. Early morning (7. 30 -10. 30 am) is the time when the number of sales is the highest.
The table illustrates a typical weekdays’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
shop which
is located
in an office building. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, tea, pastries, and sandwich
are shown
in four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
7. 30-10. 30, 10. 30-2. 30, 2. 30-5.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
30
, and 5. 30-8. 30.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
in a day
was recorded
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
. The
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
best selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is between 7. 30 am
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
10. 30 am, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of each item are the biggest,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the sandwich. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of sandwiches is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
50 at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Coffee
becomes a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
menu for costumers in the morning and evening. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of this menu is the highest within 7. 30-10. 30 am and 5. 30-8. 30 pm, which is 265 and 200
respectively
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of sandwich become the highest at 10. 30 am -2. 30 pm period while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
is in the second rank with 185
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
. At 2. 30-5. 30 pm, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of pastries is the highest among the menu.
However
, this number is under the morning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of pastries which is 275.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
has the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in a day.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of tea is the lowest. Early morning (7. 30 -10. 30 am) is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
is the highest.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday. v. 6

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
225 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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