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The pie charts below describe average household expenditures by major categories in Japan and Malaysia in 2010. v.2

The pie charts below describe average household expenditures by major categories in Japan and Malaysia in 2010. v. 2
The pie charts depict the proportions of money spent on households in Japan compared to Malaysia in 2010 based on five categories namely- housing, transportation, food, healthcare and other goods and services. As illustrated, most of the expenditures in Japan was made on goods and other services, comprising 29% of the total expenditures compared to Malaysia, which only spends 26%. Food came as second priority for both countries with 24% and 27% of total household costs respectively. Housing in Japan is placed as the third priority with an average of 21% expenditure in comparison to Malaysia, which places their housing as their major expenditure. Furthermore, money spent for transportation fall as the fourth priority with an average of 20% in Japan and 10% in Malaysia. Lastly, healthcare was observed to be the least priority for both countries comprising 6% and 3% of the total expenditures. Overall, pie charts indicate that the main expenses in both countries were on goods and services, food and housing, while transportation and healthcare were given least prioritised.
The pie charts depict the proportions of money spent on households in
Japan
compared to Malaysia in 2010 based on five categories
namely
- housing, transportation, food, healthcare and other
goods
and services.

As illustrated, most of the
expenditures
in
Japan
was made
on
goods
and other services, comprising 29% of the total
expenditures
compared to Malaysia, which
only
spends 26%. Food came as second
priority
for both countries with 24% and 27% of total household costs
respectively
. Housing in
Japan
is placed
as the third
priority
with an average of 21%
expenditure
in comparison
to Malaysia, which places their housing as their major
expenditure
.
Furthermore
, money spent for transportation fall as the fourth
priority
with an average of 20% in
Japan
and 10% in Malaysia.
Lastly
, healthcare
was observed
to be the least
priority
for both countries comprising 6% and 3% of the total expenditures.

Overall
, pie charts indicate that the main expenses in both countries were on
goods
and services, food and housing, while transportation and healthcare were
given
least
prioritised
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie charts below describe average household expenditures by major categories in Japan and Malaysia in 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
172 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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