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The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. v.3

The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. v. 3
The presented table compares the number of passengers in three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. The Frankfurt airport served more passengers than other airports and air travellers in these airports more than doubled in five years. As is provided as a census of a perusal, the given illustration gives passenger numbers at Dusseldorf, Berlin Tegel and Frankfurt airports. Initially, in 2007, more than 36 million people used Frankfurt airport, while 17. 3 million preferred Berlin Tegel airport. Dusseldorf airport, in this year, receipted 27. 2 million travellers. The number of Dusseldorf airport passengers swelled up until 2009 and reached to 48. 2 million as peak and then declined its proportion till 2011 and met 33. 2 million and then this ratio plunged to 45. 6 million in 2012. In the similar fashion, Berlin Tegel's passenger increased with mild tilt until 2008 and spouted with a steep slope and received 39. 9 million travellers in 2009. After that, it served to 43. 3 million commuters in 2010 and tended with no fluctuation until  2012. The quota of the Frankfurt airport travellers rose monotonously from 2007 until 2012 with a gentle slope and stood at 69. 3 million at last.
The presented table compares the number of
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passengers
in three major German
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airports
between 2007 and 2012. The Frankfurt
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airport
served more
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passengers
than other
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airports
and air
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travellers
in these
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airports
more than doubled in five years.

As
is provided
as a census of a perusal, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration gives
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passenger
numbers at
'Dusseldorf' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Düsseldorf"
Dusseldorf
, Berlin
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Tegel
and Frankfurt
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airports
.
Initially
, in 2007, more than 36
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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used
Frankfurt
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airport
, while 17. 3
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million
preferred Berlin
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Tegel
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airport
.
'Dusseldorf' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Düsseldorf"
Dusseldorf
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airport
, in this year, receipted 27. 2
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million
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travellers
. The number of
'Dusseldorf' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Düsseldorf"
Dusseldorf
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airport
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passengers
swelled up until 2009 and reached to 48. 2
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million
as peak and then declined its proportion till 2011 and met 33. 2
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million
and then this ratio plunged to 45. 6
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million
in 2012.

In the similar fashion, Berlin
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Tegel
's
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passenger
increased with mild tilt until 2008 and spouted with a steep slope and received 39. 9
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million
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travellers
in 2009. After that, it served to 43. 3
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million
commuters in 2010 and tended with no fluctuation until
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2012. The quota of the Frankfurt
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airport
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travellers
rose
monotonously
from 2007 until 2012 with a gentle slope and stood at 69. 3
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million
at last.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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