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The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. v.2

The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. v. 2
The table data compares the passengers of three main airports in Germany from 2007 to 2012. As is presented in the data, the highest number of commuters used the Frankfurt airport and the total number of air travellers of these airports increased over the time with some minor fluctuations. According to the given data, in 2007 thirty-six and a half million travellers used the Frankfurt airport while this number was about 27 million for Dusseldorf and 17 million for Berlin Tegel airports. Almost 10 millions more passengers used those airports next years and further increased in 2009. In 2010 and 2011, some fluctuations could be observed. Finally, in 2012 the highest number of air travellers used the Frankfurt airport (69. 3 million) while around 43-46 million travellers used the other two airports. In summary, more people used the airports in Germany in 2012 than they did in previous years and the Frankfurt airport had the highest number of passengers compared to the other two airports.
The table data compares the passengers of three main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airports
in Germany from 2007 to 2012. As
is presented
in the data, the highest
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number
of commuters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Frankfurt
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airport
and the total
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number
of air
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travellers
of these
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airports
increased over the time with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor fluctuations.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, in 2007 thirty-six and a half
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Frankfurt
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airport
while this
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number
was about 27
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million
for
'Dusseldorf' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Düsseldorf"
Dusseldorf
and 17
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million
for Berlin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tegel
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airports
. Almost 10
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millions
more passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
those
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airports
next
years and
further
increased in 2009. In 2010 and 2011,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations could
be observed
.
Finally
, in 2012 the highest
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number
of air
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Frankfurt
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airport
(69. 3
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million)
while around 43-46
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the other two airports.

In summary, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
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airports
in Germany in 2012 than they did in previous years and the Frankfurt
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airport
had the highest
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number
of passengers compared to the other two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airports
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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