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The table below highlights data on the number of travelers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. v.1

The table below highlights data on the number of travelers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. v. 1
The table represents how many passengers used three distinctive airports, namely; Dusseldorf, Frankfurt and Berlin Tegel in German from 2007 to 2012. Units are measured in millions. Overall, the number of visitors travelling all three airports had increased. In particular, Berlin Tegel increased the most with the number of visitors but for the last three years this figure had remained unchanged, whereas Frankfurt had the constant rising trends. In opposed to those two airports, Dusseldorf had the periodic fluctuations. In terms of Berlin Tegel, which had 17. 3 millions of travellers in 2007? By 2009, this number raised more than doubled to record at 39. 9 million, then from 2010 and onward, the number of visitors remained unchanged at 43. 3 million. In contrast, the rest of airports experienced a steady incremental trend where Dusseldorf had 27. 2 million visitors and 36. 5 million for Frankfurt in 2007. By 2009, Dusseldorf recorded the peak of 48. 2 million travellers before it decreased to 33. 2 million travellers in 2011, while Frankfurt had constant rise with the number of travellers to reach at 44. 4 million and 51. 1 millions of travellers in 2009 and in 2011 respectively. By 2012, both airports received majority of travellers as 45. 6 millions of visitors for Dusseldorf and 69. 3 millions of visitors for Frankfurt.
The table represents how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
three distinctive
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airports
,
namely
;
'Dusseldorf' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Düsseldorf"
Dusseldorf
, Frankfurt and Berlin
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Tegel
in German from 2007 to 2012. Units
are measured
in millions.

Overall
, the
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number
of
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visitors
travelling all three
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airports
had increased.
In particular
, Berlin
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Tegel
increased the most with the
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number
of
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visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the last three years this figure had remained unchanged, whereas Frankfurt had the constant rising trends. In opposed to those two
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airports
,
'Dusseldorf' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Düsseldorf"
Dusseldorf
had the periodic fluctuations.

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In
terms of Berlin
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Tegel
, which had 17. 3
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millions
of
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travellers
in 2007? By 2009, this
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number
raised more than doubled to record at 39. 9
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million
, then from 2010 and onward, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
remained unchanged at 43. 3 million.

In contrast
, the rest of
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airports
experienced a steady incremental trend where
'Dusseldorf' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Düsseldorf"
Dusseldorf
had 27. 2
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million
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visitors
and 36. 5
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million
for Frankfurt in 2007. By 2009,
'Dusseldorf' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Düsseldorf"
Dusseldorf
recorded the peak of 48. 2
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million
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travellers
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before
it decreased to 33. 2
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million
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travellers
in 2011, while Frankfurt had constant rise with the
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number
of
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travellers
to reach at 44. 4
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million
and 51. 1
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millions
of
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travellers
in 2009 and in 2011
respectively
. By 2012, both
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airports
received majority of
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travellers
as 45. 6
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millions
of
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visitors
for
'Dusseldorf' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Düsseldorf"
Dusseldorf
and 69. 3
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millions
of
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visitors
for Frankfurt.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The table below highlights data on the number of travelers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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