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The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. v.4

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. v. 4
The given table provides data about the underground rail transit systems in six different cities namely London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles. The statistics provided are the year opening the railway systems, the kilometres of route and the total number of travellers per year in millions. As is given in the table, London railway service was the first to launch compared to other five cities, i. e. , in 1863, and it covers a total distance of 394 kilometres. By contrast, the city of Los Angeles has the newest underground railway, which was opened in 2001, and it falls under the second least used with mere 50 million commuters and the second shortest length with just 28 kilometers, whereas the Kyoto railway system stands at the last spot with 45 million people and 11 kilometers length respectively. Interestingly, the Tokyo rail transit system which was built in the year 1927, has the highest number of passengers, which accounts for 1927 million followed by Paris with a large user base of 1191 million. Overall, it can be inferred from the presentation that most of the early built and longest rail routes have significantly higher number of passengers, compared to modern and short length transit systems.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table provides data about the underground rail transit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
in six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities
namely
London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles. The statistics provided are the year opening the
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railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
of route and the total number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
per year in millions.

As is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the table, London
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
service was the
first
to launch compared to other five cities,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
in 1863, and it covers a total distance of 394
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
. By contrast, the city of Los Angeles has the newest underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
, which
was opened
in 2001, and it falls under the second least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with mere 50 million commuters and the second shortest length with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
28 kilometers, whereas the Kyoto
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
stands at the last spot with 45 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and 11 kilometers length
respectively
.

Interestingly
, the Tokyo rail transit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which
was built
in the year 1927, has the highest number of passengers, which accounts for 1927 million followed by Paris with a large user base of 1191 million.

Overall
, it can
be inferred
from the presentation that most of the early built and longest rail routes have
significantly
higher number of passengers, compared to modern and short length transit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. v. 4

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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