Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. v.2

The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. v. 2
The provided charts show the data of a survey conducted on 100, 000 people and the statistics shows the number of UK citizen travelled abroad during 1994 to 1998 for different purposes and their destinations. As is observed from the given graphs, most of the UK residents travelled on their holidays and Western Europe was their most favourite destination. Initially, in 1994, more than 22 thousand UK resident traveled different foreign countries and among them, more than 15 thousand went on their holidays. For business tours, more than 3 thousand people travelled in other countries in the same year while more than 2 thousand people visited their friends and relatives. After 1 year, this number slightly decreased and for the rest of the years until 1998, the number steadily increased in almost all of the categories. Finally, in 1998, the total traveler number reached to more than 28 thousand and among them, more than twenty thousand people travelled to enjoy their holidays. In 1994, almost 18 thousand people out of 22 thousand went to Western Europe which is significantly larger than the number of people traveled to North America and other parts of the world. The similar trends can be observed for the remaining years and the majority people of the UK went to Western Europe which makes this place the most popular tourist’s destination of UK people.
The provided charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the data of a survey conducted on 100, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of UK citizen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
abroad during 1994 to 1998 for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes and their destinations. As
is observed
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graphs, most of the UK residents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
on their holidays and Western Europe was their most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
destination.

Initially
, in 1994, more than 22 thousand UK resident traveled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
foreign countries and among them, more than 15 thousand went on their holidays. For business tours, more than 3 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
in other countries in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
while more than 2 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visited their friends and relatives. After 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
slightly
decreased and for the rest of the years until 1998, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
steadily
increased in almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
categories.
Finally
, in 1998, the total traveler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
reached to more than 28 thousand and among them, more than twenty thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
to enjoy their holidays.

In 1994, almost 18 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
out of 22 thousand went to Western Europe which is
significantly
larger than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
traveled to North America and other parts of the world. The similar trends can
be observed
for the remaining years and the majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the UK went to Western Europe which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this place the most popular tourist’s destination of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
228 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts