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The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. v.3

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. v. 3
The given table shows data on underground railway system of six cities namely London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles and compares these rail stations opening date, route and passengers number. As is observed from the given data, London underground railway system was established before other railway systems of other cities and they have the largest route for this railroad. But Tokyo railway system has the highest number of passengers per year among the given cities. London railway system was established in 1863, which makes it the oldest underground railway system and it has more than 390 km route which is also the largest route among these six cities. Each year more than 700 million passengers use these underground railway stations of London. Paris underground railway system was started in 1900 and it has almost 200 km route with more than 1190 millions of passengers. Again Tokyo underground railway system has the largest passengers (more than 1900 millions) and it was established in 1927 that has 155 km of route. Kyoto underground railway system was opened in 1981 and it has the smallest route of 11 km and least passengers (45 millions) use this system among the mentioned six cities. Washington Dc and Los Angeles underground railway systems were established in 1976 and 2001 with comparatively smaller routes and few passengers. The Los Angeles underground railway system is the latest railway system in terms of the date it was opened and has the second smallest route (28 km) and passengers (50 millions). In conclusion, the oldest underground railway system is in London and Tokyo has the largest number of passengers of their underground railway system.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
data on
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underground
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railway
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system
of six
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cities
namely
London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles and compares these rail stations opening date,
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route
and
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passengers
number. As
is observed
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, London
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underground
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railway
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system
was
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established
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before
other
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railway
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systems
of other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cities and
they have the largest
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route
for this railroad.
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But
Tokyo
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railway
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system
has the highest number of
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passengers
per year among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
cities.

London
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railway
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system
was
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established
in 1863, which
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makes
it the oldest
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underground
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railway
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system
and it has more than 390 km
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route
which is
also
the largest
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route
among these six
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cities
. Each year more than 700
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million
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passengers
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use
these
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underground
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railway
stations of London. Paris
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underground
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railway
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system
was
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started
in 1900 and it has almost 200 km
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route
with more than 1190
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millions
of
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passengers
. Again Tokyo
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underground
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railway
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system
has the largest
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passengers
(more than 1900
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millions)
and it was
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established
in 1927 that has 155 km of
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route
. Kyoto
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underground
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railway
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system
was opened
in 1981 and it has the smallest
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route
of 11 km and least
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passengers
(45
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millions)
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use
this
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system
among the mentioned six
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cities
. Washington Dc and Los Angeles
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underground
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railway
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systems
were
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established
in 1976 and 2001 with
comparatively
smaller
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routes
and few
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passengers
. The Los Angeles
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underground
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railway
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system
is the latest
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railway
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system
in terms of the date it
was opened
and has the second smallest
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route
(28 km) and
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passengers
(50 millions).

In conclusion
, the oldest
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underground
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railway
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system
is in London and Tokyo has the largest number of
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passengers
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
71Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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