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The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. v.2

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. v. 2
The supplied table gives data on underground railway system in six metropolitan cities namely: London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles. As is observed, London railway system is the oldest among six and has the longest rail route and the most recent railway system in Los Angeles having a small route and fewer passengers using the railway system each year. London railway system was opened in 1863 and has a total of 394 km. route. Paris railway system was started in 1900 and has 199 km. route but has a far larger passenger (1191 million per year) than the London railway (775 million passengers per year). Again, Tokyo railway has the largest passengers using the system and this railway station was started in the year 1927. Two most recent railway stations are Kyoto and Los Angeles those started in the year 1981 and 2001 consecutively and have 11 and 28 km. of routes only. The 11 km. route of Kyoto railway station is the smallest route among the mentioned six cities.
The supplied table gives data on underground
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railway
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system
in six metropolitan cities
namely
: London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles. As
is observed
, London
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railway
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system
is the oldest among six and has the longest rail
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route
and the most recent
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railway
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system
in Los Angeles having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
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route
and fewer
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passengers
using the
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railway
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system
each year.

London
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railway
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system
was opened
in 1863 and has a total of 394 km.
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route
. Paris
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railway
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system
was
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started
in 1900 and has 199 km.
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route
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but
has a far larger
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passenger
(1191 million per
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year)
than the London
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railway
(775 million
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passengers
per
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year)
. Again, Tokyo
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railway
has the largest
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passengers
using the
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system
and this
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railway
station was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in the
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year
1927.

Two most recent
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railway
stations are Kyoto and Los Angeles those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in the
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year
1981 and 2001
consecutively
and have 11 and 28 km. of
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routes
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only
. The 11 km.
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route
of Kyoto
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railway
station is the smallest
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route
among the mentioned six cities.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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