Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. v.3

The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. v. 3
The supplied charts depict an outcome of a survey conducted among 100, 000 people and the survey asks the reason behind the journey and preferred destinations between the periods of 1994 and 1998. In the first graph, in 1994, the holiday was the most significant reason behind the United Kingdom citizen's travel and it accounted 15. 246 people whereas, 982 people were traveled because of unspecified reasons. Interestingly, in the case of business and visit to friends and relatives, almost an equal number of people visited 3115 and 2689 respectively. In the number of holiday goers, though, there was a slight decrease in the figure in 1995, rest of the years there was a gradual increase in the account and reached above 20 thousand. In spite of some downward trends in the initial year (1995), there was a marginal increase in all the categories. From the year 1994 to 1998, it is clearly seen the trend that North America and other areas obtained a rock bottom position with less than 2000 people. On the contrary, the number of visitors to Europe at a zenith level with around 20, 000 per year, besides it showed a gradual hike in the total number of visitors to all the three destinations.
The supplied charts depict an outcome of a survey conducted among 100, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the survey asks the reason behind the journey and preferred destinations between the periods of 1994 and 1998.

In the
first
graph, in 1994, the holiday was the most significant reason behind the United Kingdom citizen's travel and it accounted 15. 246
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whereas, 982
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were traveled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unspecified reasons.
Interestingly
, in the case of business and visit to friends and relatives, almost an equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visited 3115 and 2689
respectively
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of holiday goers, though, there was a slight decrease in the figure in 1995, rest of the years there was a gradual increase in the account and reached above 20 thousand.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downward trends in the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
(1995), there was a marginal increase in all the categories.

From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1994 to 1998, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the trend that North America and other areas obtained a rock bottom position with less than 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors to Europe at a zenith level with around 20, 000 per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
besides
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a gradual hike in the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors to all the three destinations.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts