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The table below gives information about online shopping in one year on UK. It shows the amount of money spent on various items by men and women and the percentages for men and women on the total money spent on those items. v.2

The table below gives information about online shopping in one year on UK. It shows the amount of money spent on various items by men and women and the percentages for men and women on the total money spent on those items. v. 2
The provided table compared how much money was used in buying ten categories of products by men and women from the internet in England, as well as the percentage each gender takes in the total market. Overall, health and beauty products take up the least money for both males and females, while electrical goods and groceries are the most popular items for them respectively. Also, it is not surprising that ladies took the lead in buying groceries, furniture and floor coverings, health and beauty goods, clothing and foot wears, home wares and books, whereas, men are leading in the remaining groups. Lastly, men spend more money in total than women on e-market. The sum of 762. 9 millions was spent on groceries by women, while surprisingly just 81. 8 millions was used in buying health and beauty products. For men however, their biggest expense goes to electrical goods, with a whooping 829. 6 millions; the highest money spent on online shopping all through. 69. 2% of women' s spending is on groceries, while 71. 9% for men' s is on electrical goods.
The provided table compared how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in buying ten categories of products by
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men
and
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women
from the internet in England,
as well
as the percentage each gender takes in the total market.

Overall
, health and beauty products take up the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for both males and females, while electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and groceries are the most popular items for them
respectively
.
Also
, it is not surprising that ladies took the lead in buying groceries, furniture and floor coverings, health and beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, clothing and foot wears, home wares and books, whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are leading in the remaining groups.
Lastly
,
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men
spend more
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money
in total than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
on e-market.

The sum of 762. 9 millions
was spent
on groceries by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, while
surprisingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
81. 8 millions was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in buying health and beauty products. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
however
, their biggest expense goes to electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, with a whooping 829. 6 millions; the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on online shopping all through. 69. 2% of
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women&
#039; s spending is on groceries, while 71. 9% for
Possible spelling mistake found.
men&
#039; s is on electrical
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goods
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below gives information about online shopping in one year on UK. It shows the amount of money spent on various items by men and women and the percentages for men and women on the total money spent on those items. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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